Our new ministry is called "Hope Reins". Sometimes I need to remind myself of the Hope we do have.

Thanks, Maria. Very kind and heartfelt.

Maria: What you say is so true. Thank you for your promising words. There is this thing called reality too, and today, even though I have hope in a full restoration of good adult relationships with our 2 estranged ones, reality injected a strong dose of medicine into my mind in that I knew that in spite of the hope I have, today would not be the day we would hear from either of our 2 estranged kids, it being dear wife's birthday.

That hope that you write about is still with me and today is now almost over and there is not a word from either of them but that does not matter. That hope is here today, it will be here tomorrow, and it will not fade with time in spite of the emptiness that each day brings us with their absence in our lives.

There was a second hope for this day, for wife's birthday. This hope was to have the best possible birthday for her that could be, and it did occur. The many smiles and glow on my dear wife's face meant that this hope for this day was realized. xfmlg

I like this scripture reading if any of you read the bible, "Faith is the substance of all things Hoped for and the evidence of things that are not yet seen". So along with hope, we need to have faith that even if we don't see things in our reality today, it doesn't mean they will not manifest into reality tomorrow.

And another scripture for you, xfmlg and your wife's birthday......"This is the day the LORD has made - we will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24 So glad you rejoiced today and you saw a glow on your wife's face and that there is still "hope" in your heart. Big virtual hug to your wife today.........

My mother gave me a plate with that written on it for our twentieth anniversary, cowgirl. I remember she said, "I just couldn't think what to get you, but I thought you might like this." I loved it! That was over 17 years ago,. The plate hangs next to our bed, and my mother is gone now. In fact we are on a long camping trip right now, across several states, to visit her grave.

I don't have any hope for our estrangement situation. It just isn't realistic to. BUT - on the other hand, you never know! We just don't know these things.

I think of it like it may be best for her. Like, God knows what he's doing, and there is a reason for it. So that is what I live on, rather than any hope of resolution. Its more important for me to accept and get on with what is, and the fact that it will likely be for the rest of my days. What i get comfort from is the idea that this may be best, even though I can't understand it and certainly don't like it.

Alana, that is a good thought.. maybe it's best for our ECs for whatever reason. If only I'd had the foresight to see it this way years ago.. but instead I tried too hard to hang on and "make things right". Maybe I am too sensitive and I invested too much into what the perfect "happy family" looked like.

A small development has occurred recently. DD said I should have an Instagram account, so I opened one. Of course, both daughters are friends with our granddaughters (who we are not allowed contact with). Lo and behold, I got a notice that the oldest granddaughter (17) is "following" me, so I followed her back and we "liked" each other's photos. Then a photo appeared with all three granddaughters and they were tagged with their names.. after a few days I decided to "follow" them too. They followed me back, and the youngest "liked" ALL the photos I had posted. Yesterday the oldest GD posted a photo of her and her sisters with the caption "How could we not talk about family when family's all that we've got."

Again, I don't hold out real hope that they might come and see us this summer, although I always hope they will.. but it is an improvement. And I don't think their parents are on Instagram. What does that say..hmmm.

Nora....never thought about instagram. My gs turned 17 today and I texted him Happy Birthday but no reply. I have my granddaughter (dd's)this weekend and first thing she said was, "Do you know whose bd it is today?" She went on to say gs went for his license today and the whole family took off to go with him for driving test."
Love having gd over but knowing dd and family are so in touch with es and family makes it so hard. But......"hope"

PS After I replied above, 9yr old gd mentioned that her dad set up an instagram account for her, "but it is private". (not sure how that works) She asked if I wanted to know who she "follows" and I was quiet (thinking I really didn't want to hear my about my estranged grands, again) but, thankfully, she was quiet.

Later during our drive, she said, "Instagram is for young kids to get them ready for Facebook. Can you believe? Then she went on to talk about "daddy and mommy drinks". She can't have the "alcohol", but she and her brothers can have the fruit juices, etc. I told my dh I feel like RipVanWinkle these days. I cannot believe how quickly life is changing, whether it is electronics, going to the Mall, or daddy and mommy drinks. And, of course, I have learned from estrangement that I have to keep quiet....not a word....comment....mum.

As I am typing this, I just heard a news commentator say that Facebook was not the real world and it has a become an addiction for many. With that, I am signing out....... Have a good weekend, friends........

Yes, it's private unless you change settings to public, or if you follow someone and they follow you back.

I have always had such mixed feelings about FB.. I've opened and closed accounts before, this one I've been on since last fall. I'm okay with it for now.. Instagram never appealed to me before but there seems to be less posting there, just occasional photos which are kind of special, it's not overboard. So far so good.

Yes, have to keep things low key..not too much said one way or the other. They know where we are, it's up to them to make the move, if they do.

Likewise, have a great weekend. We are having water problems.. home ownership is the pits sometimes.. seems we've sprung a leak somewhere between the well and the house and getting water in the basement along with sediment in our tap water. Yesterday DH dug a 6 foot hole at the well and had me hold onto his feet while he went in head first and did whatever he had to do. He talked to a well driller guy who gave him lots of options other than digging a huge trench. Will see if it works lol Meanwhile, going to DDs to take a shower.. :-)

Hugs, all!

That's great about your grandchildren and the instagram, Nora!

Yes, it is Alana.. thank you for commenting! It is what it is.. but is is something and that's enough for now. Hugs!