Caregivers for Spouse Community Group
Anyone caring for spouse with a disability
My husband had another emotional meltdown today. Luckily for me, I was working so didn't get involved in the backlash - every time husband melts down I have to be strong for him, be the voice of reason, give tough love, etc., all while wanting to fall apart myself.
Our aide, Doug, is much better at dealing with husband when he's like this - but of course, he doesn't have the emotional investment I do. How he is able to listen to husband moan about "I'm exhausted all the time, I sleep 8 hours a night, get up, take my meds, then go back to bed for another 2 - 4 hours.... I have to write off the morning because I'm too tired to do anything.... the only way to fix this is to take medication, and it's the medication that makes me sleepy...." When he's at his worst, he'll threaten to just stop taking all his meds. I know he's not suicidal (we went through that a couple years ago - very intense and something I don't want to discuss right now), and I understand he's just frustrated at the way things are - but I do wish he could learn to adjust to this "new normal".
And it seems as if he has at least some sort of meltdown every day - with a really good one every other day. Right now, what the doctors say is for him to take a Lorazepam and lie down - invariably the pill puts him to sleep. According to Doug, he had to take two tablets today, saying the first one didn't work.
I dread tomorrow - he has a Dr. appointment scheduled at 10 am, with the specific intention of letting the Dr. see him when he's at his most fatigued early in the day. But at least Doug will be with him tomorrow. Saturday, however, I'll be working and husband will be left to his own devices. Last Saturday I had to take half an hour off work because he had a meltdown - at first he wanted me to call 911, but after taking his Lorazepam he calmed down. I'm going to suggest he call a friend or go to a movie - anything to take his mind off himself and his health troubles. (Otherwise I'll be spending my working time waiting for "the other shoe to drop")
And I'm dreading taking my lunch break - I don't want to leave the security of my office to go into the living room not knowing what sort of mood husband will be in.
On the plus side - he's spoken with a couple of psychiatrists who think adjusting his depression medications may help. One of them is also suggesting a medication for bi-polar - While I haven't seen husband manic, given the mood swings I think it's worth a shot. We both would be more relaxed if his mood would stabilize a bit more.
Meanwhile, it's "one day at a time" and if worst comes to worst, I do have a prescription for Xanex if I need it.
Our aide, Doug, is much better at dealing with husband when he's like this - but of course, he doesn't have the emotional investment I do. How he is able to listen to husband moan about "I'm exhausted all the time, I sleep 8 hours a night, get up, take my meds, then go back to bed for another 2 - 4 hours.... I have to write off the morning because I'm too tired to do anything.... the only way to fix this is to take medication, and it's the medication that makes me sleepy...." When he's at his worst, he'll threaten to just stop taking all his meds. I know he's not suicidal (we went through that a couple years ago - very intense and something I don't want to discuss right now), and I understand he's just frustrated at the way things are - but I do wish he could learn to adjust to this "new normal".
And it seems as if he has at least some sort of meltdown every day - with a really good one every other day. Right now, what the doctors say is for him to take a Lorazepam and lie down - invariably the pill puts him to sleep. According to Doug, he had to take two tablets today, saying the first one didn't work.
I dread tomorrow - he has a Dr. appointment scheduled at 10 am, with the specific intention of letting the Dr. see him when he's at his most fatigued early in the day. But at least Doug will be with him tomorrow. Saturday, however, I'll be working and husband will be left to his own devices. Last Saturday I had to take half an hour off work because he had a meltdown - at first he wanted me to call 911, but after taking his Lorazepam he calmed down. I'm going to suggest he call a friend or go to a movie - anything to take his mind off himself and his health troubles. (Otherwise I'll be spending my working time waiting for "the other shoe to drop")
And I'm dreading taking my lunch break - I don't want to leave the security of my office to go into the living room not knowing what sort of mood husband will be in.
On the plus side - he's spoken with a couple of psychiatrists who think adjusting his depression medications may help. One of them is also suggesting a medication for bi-polar - While I haven't seen husband manic, given the mood swings I think it's worth a shot. We both would be more relaxed if his mood would stabilize a bit more.
Meanwhile, it's "one day at a time" and if worst comes to worst, I do have a prescription for Xanex if I need it.
I give you lots and lots of hugs. I will be here for you whenever you need some support. It is good that you are going to the dr. to see if they can assist with you Hubby's problems with attitude. Hang in there.