Okay it started when I was in kindergarten. There was a boy who was best friends with me. Then one day we were playing a game he called "try not to shout" he then proceeded to hit, kick, punch me all over my body. I apparently had made a lot of noise when i broke something ( I have no idea what it was) and the principal came over. The boy said I hit him and I remember getting really upset at this. Fast forward one year. I have broad shoulders and am large for my age. The kid calls me fat, stupid, and ugly all year. Of course only being 6 stuff like that made me upset. In 2nd grade we had a class on why we should tell a teacher if someone hurt our feelings. I was planning on it, but (from what my mom remembered me telling her) the kid threatened me. He picked on me the rest of the year. In 3rd grade he verbally abused me and taunted me at my lack of baseball skills, and he shoved me off a rock or a swing set or something. In 4th grade I finally told a teacher, and the teacher told me he was just kidding. She sent me to the guidance office where when I opened up about my story the teacher said I was "fibbing" and the kid was very nice. The verbal abuse continued. In 5th grade I reported him and another boy. Again the teachers chose to neglect it. In 6th grade he switched schools, but my sadness was far from over. I am an actor and 8th grade boys would pick on me and one kicked me in the head. The original kid's friends started to apologize for picking on me and I forgave them. In seventh grade (last year) I wasn't getting bullied anymore. However I still felt awful. I hit and beat myself, and taunted myself often. These events have made me extremely shy and am scared of other people's opinions of me. I still abuse myself and am considering cutting as a new way to hurt myself. I try to keep these feelings of HIGH hatred of myself in, but every once in a while I just break down and cry. I don't tell my mom or anyone I hate myself because I'm afraid they won't like me because I'm different. Counselors have never helped me ever. I am 13 and going into eighth grade worried that the German exchange students that stop by our school will hate me because I am a tour guide. I tried to kill myself in elementary school which is unknown to my parents. I think about this every day and is taking over my life.