Borderline Personality Disorder Community Group

Support for those suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought...

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EeveeSpirit 11/24/2016

Hello everyone. I'm not medically diagnosed and I don't really want to diagnosis myself, but it's the only thing that fits me (unfortunately) and explains why I act and feel the way I do. I've tried reaching out for help, no one listens to me. I know this basically amounts to nothing, but I've taken a lot of online tests (ones that use the official symptom thing can't remember what it's called sorry) and have gotten severe or highly likely. The person I'm dating is the only one who believes I have it because I don't really share my life with my family.

I know the causes for bpd are unknown, but I heard it can be caused by untreated ADHD (which I have) and having a family member (like parent or something) with a personality disorders. If anyone can be so nice as to comment what caused yours to appear, if not I understand.

Symptoms I have:

(I know no one can medically diagnose me, but I'll feel somewhat better listing them, I also don't do anything on purpose, I'm super nice and caring!)

Fears of abandonment (I was abandoned by someone who meant a lot to me in the past)

Unstable/Intense relationships (platonic and romantic; mainly romantic.)

Idenity disturbance (I don't really know who I am, I don't even really know what I like and dislike, it changes quite frequently too)

Impulsivity (Thanks to my ADHD I'd super impulsive and not so thinky)

Sucidial behavior (I've done a lot of self harm, not just cutting either. When people say they're going to leave me or they get upset I just feel such a strong desire to cut myself and somehow my brain believes that will make them stay :(

Emotionally instability (I have mood swings that last a few minutes to hours, I can be happy then in a couple minutes suicidally depressed)

Empty (I get empty feelings I also get this overwhelming dreadful feeling I can't explain)

Difficulty controlling anger (I've never been able to control my anger, I'm like the hulk when I'm angry even if it's over small stuff)

other stuff

I get depersonalization and derealization sometimes too.

I am a woman in my early 20s with untreated ADHD & anxiety. My dad has narssictic personality disorder.

Even if it's not BPD, whatever I have is interfering with most of my life, it usually happens during the night or early mornings because I don't have to wear a fake mask when I'm alone.

Thanks to anyone who read this.

kiwiwik 12/17/2016

Hi! I have also not yet been diagnosed, but I have noticed the same symptoms you just listed in myself, and those are what brought me here today. My significant other is also the only one who believes me when I say I am almost positive I suffer from this disorder; everyone else I tell just thinks I'm exaggerating or upset in that particular moment, and will eventually get over it. I know I may not be much help, being undiagnosed and all, but maybe my comment would help you (and me) maybe not feel alone in this? I don't know. However, I plan on calling my doctor on Monday to just spill it all out to her. Maybe you could do the same, and we both could be referred to a psychologist or something to get proper help and treatment. But I'm glad I found your post. I've been feeling especially alone in this, and- not to sound weird or anything, lol- wanted to find someone to relate to!

EeveeSpirit 12/21/2016

I'm glad I made you not feel so alone. :)

AnFlew17 02/02/2018

I also am not diagnosed just yet, I am seeing a therapist and I just brought BPD up in our last session. My step mother had Borderline Personality disorder and she was a massive influence in my life so you can understand how much of an impact she had on me. My dad is the one who brought up the possibility of having BPD and my boyfriend thinks it is very possible, I don't have any friends to talk to and I isolate the hell out of myself because I am tired of those relationships that, I have spent years working on, blowing up in my face. I also am tired of choosing the wrong people to be in my life but in order for me to do that I need to work on myself.

rainyangel 02/16/2018

I don't believe it is a disorder that is hereditary and it's not a chemical imbalance like with bipolar or something. You can be predisposed by being a normally very sensitive person to begin with, and many but not neccessarily all, have had some form of sexual abuse and also many instances of invalidation and or abandonment/rejection. Everyone tends to experience it differently and in different degrees with different combinations of the symptoms. I have them all pretty much. One that really hurts me is I'm always thinking I know what others are thinking about me and i believe it and react accordingly. Very irrational fear of rejection and abandonment to the point where I wont have any relationships for years and years. Mainly if you have five or more of the listed symptoms and all to the degree that it seriously interferes with your life in important ways, then you probably have it and it is generally helped through therapy, not meds.

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