Borderline Personality Disorder Community Group
Support for those suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought...
i'm a little stressed out. i know NOTHING about living alone, like i can't cook, clean, do laundry, remember to take care of my hygiene, etc. i attend free therapy at my uni right now, but my therapist is graduating and leaving. none of the other counselors wanna take me because i'm the "big bad scary borderline" and uni therapists are really only trained for depression & anxiety.
my family REFUSES to pay for therapy costs (even if they had the money), but we make "too much" for me to be considered poor enough to get free therapy at a local mental health clinic. so i have no choice but to move out on my own, with my $50 every two weeks paycheck, just to be "poor enough" for free therapy because the government has bullshit rules. i'll live on campus with 5 random people i'm assigned to a room with. i can barely put up with myself and i feel like my roommates with hate me and my breakdowns. i'm probably gonna start starving myself AGAIN too because i can't really afford food. i got a full ride scholarship at least but it doesn't cover rooom & board. and i probably can't take my dog because he isn't house trained good enough even though he's my emotional support animal and i can't sleep without him.
i don't have a driver's license, my job is shit and pays next to nothing, art commissions are trickling in barely, etc. i'm gonna finally get meds but my current insurance won't cover it all and so i have to apply for medicaid.
i'm just...really scared and stressed. i know growing up sucks, but i'm way too dependent on people and being mentally ill makes it even worse. i have to go from being totally dependent & a complete mess to being COMPLETELY independent on my own just to continue receiving therapy so i don't try to kill myself for literally the 50th or so time. i have to grow up way too fast and it's way too much all at once.
i could just use some nice / inspirational / supportive words right now, i guess.
Im really sorry to hear that you're struggling. I know its hard.
Medicaid will help, they will even provide free transportation to medical appointments. I use them for all my medical needs.
My best advice is when you are in a position to look for a therapist, look for a DBT therapist, or DBT clinic. They are trained specifically for BPD and if they are any good at their jobs do not harbor stigma against borderline patients.
You are very young. Things will get better. This is all happening so fast but I believe you have the strength inside to adjust and adapt and make it through.
Also have you contacted the disability services at your college? They can help you get services like allowing you to have your dog.
thank you for this message though! apparently my university has its own dbt therapist and they have insurance for us students (like $300 a semester is what it costs) that covers all our medical stuff if we do it through their hospital!! so i will probably do that so i can continue having therapy!
i have not contacted the disability services yet, but i did talk to residence life folk and they said i just need a letter from my current therapist if i want to have my dog!!