If you aren't willing to get help are you really that suprised that people get sick of it. I don't mean that in a mean way.
I have been getting help for years now and people still find it very difficult to deal with me sometimes.
I guess if you want your partner back then you might have to get some help so that in the end you will be able to change your thinking. Part of BPD is us thinking that people aren't listening or they are failing us. Sometimes they might fail us, but we also push them away when we need them the most. It's not really suprising that partners would get sick of us.

I have this trouble. I think I would get sick of me too! I do get sick of me as me as well! You just have to try to minimise any negative on your partners like having somewhere/ one to vent with, being aware if your reaction does actually warrent being the resonse you are having based on the actual evidence before you i.e. has someone called you a useless bitch or have they ask in what you got up to that day in a tone you weren't quite sure of ... for example.

You do get triple fallout having a partner. You get the shit you experience in the first place, then when you realise you are being too BDP ish you feel shit/ ashamed THEN stress/ guilt/ shame/ strife off your partner as it effects them- probably not pleasantly. Lovely,

My partner see's that I try and do stuff, wants me to be "better" than I am but gets despondent if stuff doesn't seem to work, he finds if hard to deal with my emotions and painful recollections and he can't cope too well with them. If can erode love between people so you really have to nurtute and feed that am remind them about your good bits too (and should be visa versa anyway IMO!!) and everyone has their challenging/ annoying/ wrong bit that need working on. It is whether people are up for doing anything about them which is key, I think.

I understand I go through more friendships and constantly tests my relationship with my Best Friend and My Husband. Exspecially Him, I have the I hate you but I love you and Leave me then why are you leaving me attitude with him on a regular basis. I took DBT classes been in women groups, it's very hard you have to be consistent and unlearn the the ways that annoys you and others.Believe me I feel like that all the time, that's one of the reason why I'm trying this site! Support is a big thing and that can help you through this, I pushed Enough people out of my life!

my partner of 3 years has borderline personality disorder. he told me he had it from the beginning but i didn't really know much about it or understand it, i just thought he was having unreasonable reactions to things. and he isn't seeking treatment either.
since it's gotten especially bad recently, i've started reading a book called ''stop walking on eggshells", a book for partners and loved ones of people who have bpd. it doesn't have a bias toward either side, and it's actually helped alot. maybe you could get a copy of it for your partner, or at least recommend it.