Borderline Personality Disorder Community Group
Support for those suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought...
Hi there, I have been in a 2 year relationship with my current gf who suffers from BPD and clinical depression. I'm not quite sure how or what I should do anymore because I feel like an endless wave of disappointments and frustrations. I feel that I have been very patient with her but my patience is wearing very very thin and sometimes I just snap whenever she makes a snappy remark at me or gives me some attitude for no apparant reason.
On top of the things I just mentioned she has a tendency to prefer having male friends over female ones. Now in case you're wondering if this is an issue of jealousy, its not. Her male 'friends' tend to have agendas that are usually something being more then friends whether romantic or sexual, and my gf knows this but yet she still continues her friendship with them. One time she nearly got raped by one of them but apparantly that has not taught her a lesson. She still fraternize with these men. As much as I would like to trust her, her mental issues aside she hasn't made many good decisions in life to warrant that trust that I would like to give. I don't know if she is doing this because all these men make her feel good about herself, she is quite an attractive girl but I think she places way too much emphasize on her looks.
Now to add to my worries, in the 2 years that we've been together, sexual intimacy is well for a lack of a better word....dismal, sporadic and only when she is in the mood which is rarely. Which adds to my worries that there might be something more then friendship she has going with those guys. Also she drinks alot....being drunk with a bunchy overtly friendly guys....hmmmm recipe for disaster?
She constantly says I am just being insecure about these guys but I beg to differ, there are alot of warning signs all over the place. But for anyone reading this, do I sound insecure or do I really have something to worry about? This is very different from how we initially started, she was very into me but she realized that I was just someone who takes joys in the simpler things in life everything seems to start to change.
I try to trust her whenever she wants to go out with her male friends but there is this constant nagging inside my head. Especially since she usually can't control her drinking and she uses alcohol as a coping mechanism. Also I am not sure if she really loves me or am I just someone to hang on to for support.
Help?
On top of the things I just mentioned she has a tendency to prefer having male friends over female ones. Now in case you're wondering if this is an issue of jealousy, its not. Her male 'friends' tend to have agendas that are usually something being more then friends whether romantic or sexual, and my gf knows this but yet she still continues her friendship with them. One time she nearly got raped by one of them but apparantly that has not taught her a lesson. She still fraternize with these men. As much as I would like to trust her, her mental issues aside she hasn't made many good decisions in life to warrant that trust that I would like to give. I don't know if she is doing this because all these men make her feel good about herself, she is quite an attractive girl but I think she places way too much emphasize on her looks.
Now to add to my worries, in the 2 years that we've been together, sexual intimacy is well for a lack of a better word....dismal, sporadic and only when she is in the mood which is rarely. Which adds to my worries that there might be something more then friendship she has going with those guys. Also she drinks alot....being drunk with a bunchy overtly friendly guys....hmmmm recipe for disaster?
She constantly says I am just being insecure about these guys but I beg to differ, there are alot of warning signs all over the place. But for anyone reading this, do I sound insecure or do I really have something to worry about? This is very different from how we initially started, she was very into me but she realized that I was just someone who takes joys in the simpler things in life everything seems to start to change.
I try to trust her whenever she wants to go out with her male friends but there is this constant nagging inside my head. Especially since she usually can't control her drinking and she uses alcohol as a coping mechanism. Also I am not sure if she really loves me or am I just someone to hang on to for support.
Help?
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/sobs-significant-others-of-borderlines
(SOBs Significant Others of Borderlines)
and
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/hope-for-borderline-relationships
(Hope for Borderline Relationships)