Hi guys , first for context id like to say that i have made mistakes in the past which overtime made me the family scapegoat , things like doing drugs like xanax but what my parents dont understand is they are the reason i keep relapsing , my dad is the person who took xanax and nalbuphine a strong opiod and thats how i first tried it , not only that but because my brother was diagnosed with ADHD he was prescribed ritalin but throughout my childhood my dad also wrongfully gave it to me and used to tell me it was my morning vitamin , because of  years of that my attention span lowered drastically . and now at 21 i have my exams ging on and my phones are confiscated cutting any connection with like the 1 or 2 friends i really have , my psychaitrist prescribed me modafanil but my mom didnt like it so she talked to him which makes no sense but this is pakistan and he said i cant take it anymore even tho it was genuinly helping and now during exam season im so stressed , i also have borderline personality disorder and my mom is very careless about giving me my medicines or even buying them. the anxiety prevents me from focusing and studying.