Low Self-Esteem Community Group
Do you feel like you are never enough - smart enough, good enough, handsome or beautiful enough. This group is about and for those of us who have internalized the messages of others to the point of having very low self-esteem issues, that can also manifest as depression, addiction, anxiety, phobias, etc.
My whole life I have felt like I am never enough. It has manifested itself in on-going mental and physical health issues such as depression, social avoidance, addiction (in my case to food), and personally destructive thinking. I personally believe that this feeling - of never being enough - of anything - is the root of many mental health issues, especially destructive addictions and behaviors, at least in my case. Is there anyone else out there who has felt or feels this way?
Thank you for asking: I feel, and have always felt that way. I always fear being found out, so to speak, as the nobody that I really am, and that people will turn away from me if they were to find out. In my experience, that's what they do.
Being a mom, I have to hide it well enough to keep my job. Keeping people at an arm's length has become a strategy for survival. Survival, which, if not for my son, would not be a priority.
I was self-medicating for two decades, through destructive addictions to cigarettes, alcohol and attention, leading to a number of unhealthy relationships - mostly not even that - and even lower self esteem after each incident.
The best thing I ever did for myself, was to stop smoking. I didn't initially do it for myself, but for my unborn child the first time, and the second time so that the love of my life wouldn't think less of me. He left me, of course, but I'm not smoking again.
With the help of anxiety-depression meds and a couple of therapists, I have been able to verbalize my malfunction without breaking down in the process.
My two siblings and I struggle with the same issues. We grew up without the proper emotional attachment in our early years, i.e. without feeling loved and wanted. Consequently, we are most likely cognitively damaged. I, for one, crave the unconditional love I never experienced as a child. That kind of love does not seem to co-exist well with romantic love, There isn't a lot I can do about that, except being honest about it while trying not to pass it on to my own child
With my siblings, we rarely talk about it, as we lack healthy relations even with each other. If we do touch the subject, it is usually laughed away quite swiftly. We are all pretenders, currently on medication against depression and anxiety, terrified of being found out.
So - I guess this is to say I feel you, rarestbird! I'm in no position to offer any help, but you asked for company, so here I am.
Thanks again for posting.