body image for women Community Group
This group is for women of all ages who benefit from support from other women to promote positive thinking about body image and who deal with the depression and anxiety associated with having a negative body image. Those who struggle with body image can benefit greatly through being reminded that we live in a patriarchal society filled with sexism, warped values and...
I really need to go shopping but I hate shopping when I am a size 18 tall. Anything over a 14 tall is impossible to find in most stores so I have to shop online. Most online stores don't deliver what the product looks like and doesn't fit so I have to send back and waste time and money.
Recently my favorite store to shop online changed how it's online component works, which made it way harder to use and now I can't find what I used to buy there. Lane Bryant is great but my fiance won't let me buy their stuff because it is too expensive. I guess I could just shop them online and not tell what I paid.
I don't like going in Lane Bryant because I am at the smaller end of their size range. I see other women in there who just look so gross and scare me, then my fiance will make comments about how those chicks look awful and he doesn't want to be there. Then I feel bad because in my mind I am a huge bloated ugly thing, and then I feel like he isn't attracted to me and making fun of me too. He always says he isn't and that I am crazy and being annoying.
So I don't feel like I have anyone to talk about my weight loss goals with. I used to be smaller and then I let myself get out of hand. I've had to deal with such horrible body shaming my whole life because of my height. I am 6 feet tall and for some reason girls are not allowed to be that height, especially not fat girls, or girls with short hair. I can't change my height, but I can change my weight if I work hard enough.
I'm really tired of shopping at Goodwill, but I guilt trip myself so bad for buying new things when I think fat people don't deserve nice things because they are lazy and don't work hard for that money. Also I think I will lose weight, so why waste money on big clothes? Also my fiance seems to think women are lazy anyway. I feel like the fatter I get, the more I validate his poor opinion of women.
I have been on a meal plan I got from my nutrition coach and working out. But still I only lost 10 lbs in a month and now I've stopped. I guess I need to switch from weight training to more cardio but soon it will be time for shorts and swimsuits. I'm not ready and have no clothes that fit! It's stressing me out really bad.
My hair is also thin and shoulder length. I'm trying to grow it out but it's slow. I thought maybe I would feel more feminine if I had longer hair, maybe it would balance my height.
I have these goals but I don't have small goals between now and end result. Idk what small goals I should make. I know people think I'm shallow for worrying about this, but how I look and how people see me is very important and always on my mind.
Maybe it's because I got bullied in school, or maybe it's because I've worked jobs where how I looked determined how well I was tipped and how many hours I got to work.
If I could just drop 2 sizes this year I will be so much happier and more confident. I just don't think I can go much longer without new clothes and shopping gives me such bad anxiety. Most stores don't carry anything close to my size, or I have to get dresses too short, no pants because always too short. Then every other woman I know is like idk how you stand it. Or idk how to help you. Or, why don't you just wear men's shoes? Because other women I know are barely above 5 feet and have no fat or muscle on them at all and can share shoes with their kids. Makes me want to puke. They don't even look like adults to me, but somehow I'm the one who is freakish and can't find clothes.
I guess I should just join a nudist colony.
Last week I went to my brother's house after work. Even tho my mom and fiance knew I was going there, they both freaked out when I was gone 2 hours and called my brother to tell me I had to come home within a half hour.
I'm used to it. I've been grounded my whole life.
Back to the subject of money. I live in a rural area and very poor. We don't get paid great out here and you can't just run down the block if you need something. Every trip has to be planned out. Gas and wear on the car cost money. I go out 2 or 3 times a month for supplies. I try to keep my bills low. I shop sales and use coupons. I grow my own food and I eat simply.
I also usually only go out when we have a day off together. There is no day where I can just go out by myself, so that's why he knows where I shop, because he comes with me. I always tell him where I go and what I spend, and I expect him to do the same.
It sounds like you need to work on your inner self more than your outer self. I don't think you're going to find much happiness no matter what you look like as long as you are so judgemental and harsh on other people as well as yourself. You can't become the person you want to look like until you love the person you are right now.
Second, maybe I wouldn't have such bad issues if clothes were actually made in my size and made widely available, and the media and pretty much everyone didn't portray happy women as only skinny.
I can literally go to the store and pick up a size XXL and it is the same friggin size as a large! Clothing stores advertise they have big sizes but they don't. Or they say go online but they have nothing there either. How in the hell are women not going to have body image issues when faced with that every time we go out? And of course big sizes in specialty stores cost more because it takes more fabric to cover my long legs and fat ass! That's why I say I guilt trip myself for buying that stuff because I don't deserve to be "treated" when the reason I have to spend more is because I'm not skinny.
The only remedy for this is lose a ton of weight and surround myself with taller people.
Obviously y'all don't get it because you aren't big women.
I'm not sure why you're so defensive, but it's hard to have a meaningful discussion with you.