I’ve been divorced for two years now, when my son was 10 years old. So, he remembers and totally understand the reality of divorce. He, seemed to take it well and me and his mother quickly understood we were better off divorced than married. We have a great relationship and work very well in co-parenting. So well that people think it’s strange how well we actually get along and work together. But it makes life so much easier on our son and us.
Me and his mother both entered relationships shortly after our marriage ended both pretty serious and both about 9 moths in duration. Unfortunately my son had a bad experience with my GF, and I had to end that relationship partly because of an incident involving my son that left him scared and confused. My ex-ended hers as well and moved on to her now fiancé. And they have been living together for about 9 months now.
I met my current GF about 1 month after my split with my ex gf. We have been dating over a year now. My son has had some issues with her. He seems to not be willing to give her a chance and just recently has started expressing exactly how he feels about her. She is a good person and treats him well and loves him and me. And she shows her love for us constantly. He has expressed several times now that he wishes I would leave her and it be only me and him. He does not express the same concerns and wants with his mother.
He has been to counseling however he does not like to share his feelings, and recently he has even said he "hates" her (my gf).
I have asked him to give her an honest try but he refuses and can in a passive way show his feelings for her by making it obvious he is not happy.
I know I should not let my 12 year old determine who I date and love, but, its slowly driving a wedge between him and me I’m afraid. To the point he does not want to be around me when she is there or not. And that kills me. I see my son every single day and I am blessed to be able to get to do that. Our custody agreement is week on week off. But I seem him every day after school. We have plenty of alone time together and I believe it’s not a personal attack against my gf, he would feel the same about anyone in my life. When I voice my concerns to my GF she gets down and hurts her feelings. She doesn’t feel wanted and that puts me in a bad spot.
Should I just continue dating her and hope it gets better?
As of now, I don’t plan to give up just because of my son, however, if he starts to pull further away, I’m not sure what I would do….I love this woman and we have made future plans, but, my son comes first. Is that wrong of me?
And yes, I know I should have taken more time after my marriage, I do get tha, but this is teh situation I am currently in an dcant change the past.