Does one ever get to say I don't want to do this anymore?
Tired of pretending.
I'm not ok, never will be as far as I can tell.
What my ex did has destroyed me.
Many will say don't give him that power.
I lived for my family. He destroyed that family.
Go though each day pretending life is ok.
It's not. This is a living hell.
Now it's Christmas & I pretend some more.
Wandering the stores, trying to find gifts.
Who wants to celebrate. I lost my family and my Mom passed this year.
I want this pain to end not to celebrate.
But must pretend. Not going to put the kids in the middle, so have to pretend I am ok.
Ex doesn't abide by divorce decree, and quite frankly, I don't have the strength to fight, take back to court. My kids don't know this nor should they, but it just weakens me more. I am told I am letting him bully me.
Do we ever get to stop pretending we are ok?
What my ex did is wrong. The cheating, lying, but yet he has it all. There is no justice, karma.
Just not worth it.
I think it is only me that feels this way.