Beating Trich Community Group
You mean that there is a name for IT? Im not weird? Trichotillomania, that big, long word that is the bane of our world. With knowledge and support of others we CAN break free and live without this disorder interfering with our lives. Lets keep this uplifting and supportive and give each other the encouragement the other needs to make it to that next day.
Letting go of attachment to people:
(found this on another board and asked if I could re-post it)
1. Friend yourself.
It will be harder to let people go when necessary if you depend on them for your sense of worth. Believe you're worthy whether someone else tells you or not. This way, you really relate to people - not just how they make you feel about yourself.
2. Go it alone sometimes.
Take time to foster your own interests, ones that nothing and no one can take away. Don't let them hinge on anyone or anything other than your values and passion.
3. Hold lightly.
This one isn't just about releasing attachments - it's also about maintaining healthy relationships. Contrary to romantic notions, you are not someone's other half. You're separate and whole. You can still hold someone close to your heart; just remember, if you squeeze too tightly, you'll both be suffocated.
4. Interact with lots of people.
If you limit yourself to one or two relationships they will seem like your lifelines. Everyone needs people, and there are billions on the planet. Stay open to new connections. Accept the possibility your future involves a lot of love whether you cling to a select few people or not.
5. Justify less.
"I canât let him go - I'll be miserable without her. I'd die if I lost them - they're all that I have."
These thoughts reinforce beliefs that are not fact, even if they feel like it. The only way to let go and feel less pain is to believe you're strong enough to carry on when things change.
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Letting go of attachment to the past:
1. Know you can't change the past.
Even if you think about over and over again. Even if you punish yourself. Even if you refuse to accept it. It's done. The only way to relieve your pain about what happened is to give yourself relief. No one and nothing else can create peace in your head for you.
2. Love instead of fearing.
When you hold onto the past, it often has to do with fear: fear you messed up your chance at happiness, or fear you'll never know such happiness again. Focus on what you love and you'll create happiness instead of worrying about it.
3. Make now count.
Instead of thinking of what you did or didn't do, the type of person you were or weren't, do something worthwhile now. Be someone worthwhile now. Take a class. Join a group. Help someone who needs it. Make today so full and meaningful there's no room to dwell on yesterday.
4. Narrate calmly.
How we experience the world is largely a result of how we internalize it. Instead of telling yourself dramatic stories about the past - how hurt you were or how hard it was - challenge your emotions and focus on lessons learned. That's all you really need from yesterday.
5. Open your mind.
We often cling to things, situations or people because we're comfortable with them. We know how they'll make us feel, whether it's happy or safe. Consider that new things, situations and people may affect you the same. The only way to find out is to let go of what's come and gone.
6. Understand that pain is unavoidable.
No matter how well you do everything on this list, or on your own short list for peace, you will lose things that matter and feel some level of pain. But it doesn't have to be as bad as you think. As the saying goes, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
7. Vocalize your feelings.
Feel them, acknowledge them, express them, and then let them naturally transform. Even if you want to dwell in anger, sadness or frustration - especially if you feel like dwelling - save yourself the pain and commit to working through them.
8. Write it down.
Then toss it out. You won't always have the opportunity to express your feelings to the people who inspired them. That doesn't mean you need to swallow them. Write in a journal. Write a letter and burn it. Anything that helps you let go.
9. Xie Xie.
It means thank you in Chinese. Fully embrace your happy moments - love with abandon; be so passionate it's contagious. If a darker moment follows, remember it will teach you something, and soon enough you'll be in another happy moment to appreciate. Everything is cyclical.
And maybe most importantly,
Yield to peace.
The ultimate desire is to feel happy and peaceful. Even if you think you want to stay angry, what you really want is to be at peace with what happened or will happen. It takes a conscious choice. Make it
(found this on another board and asked if I could re-post it)
1. Friend yourself.
It will be harder to let people go when necessary if you depend on them for your sense of worth. Believe you're worthy whether someone else tells you or not. This way, you really relate to people - not just how they make you feel about yourself.
2. Go it alone sometimes.
Take time to foster your own interests, ones that nothing and no one can take away. Don't let them hinge on anyone or anything other than your values and passion.
3. Hold lightly.
This one isn't just about releasing attachments - it's also about maintaining healthy relationships. Contrary to romantic notions, you are not someone's other half. You're separate and whole. You can still hold someone close to your heart; just remember, if you squeeze too tightly, you'll both be suffocated.
4. Interact with lots of people.
If you limit yourself to one or two relationships they will seem like your lifelines. Everyone needs people, and there are billions on the planet. Stay open to new connections. Accept the possibility your future involves a lot of love whether you cling to a select few people or not.
5. Justify less.
"I canât let him go - I'll be miserable without her. I'd die if I lost them - they're all that I have."
These thoughts reinforce beliefs that are not fact, even if they feel like it. The only way to let go and feel less pain is to believe you're strong enough to carry on when things change.
**********************************************
Letting go of attachment to the past:
1. Know you can't change the past.
Even if you think about over and over again. Even if you punish yourself. Even if you refuse to accept it. It's done. The only way to relieve your pain about what happened is to give yourself relief. No one and nothing else can create peace in your head for you.
2. Love instead of fearing.
When you hold onto the past, it often has to do with fear: fear you messed up your chance at happiness, or fear you'll never know such happiness again. Focus on what you love and you'll create happiness instead of worrying about it.
3. Make now count.
Instead of thinking of what you did or didn't do, the type of person you were or weren't, do something worthwhile now. Be someone worthwhile now. Take a class. Join a group. Help someone who needs it. Make today so full and meaningful there's no room to dwell on yesterday.
4. Narrate calmly.
How we experience the world is largely a result of how we internalize it. Instead of telling yourself dramatic stories about the past - how hurt you were or how hard it was - challenge your emotions and focus on lessons learned. That's all you really need from yesterday.
5. Open your mind.
We often cling to things, situations or people because we're comfortable with them. We know how they'll make us feel, whether it's happy or safe. Consider that new things, situations and people may affect you the same. The only way to find out is to let go of what's come and gone.
6. Understand that pain is unavoidable.
No matter how well you do everything on this list, or on your own short list for peace, you will lose things that matter and feel some level of pain. But it doesn't have to be as bad as you think. As the saying goes, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
7. Vocalize your feelings.
Feel them, acknowledge them, express them, and then let them naturally transform. Even if you want to dwell in anger, sadness or frustration - especially if you feel like dwelling - save yourself the pain and commit to working through them.
8. Write it down.
Then toss it out. You won't always have the opportunity to express your feelings to the people who inspired them. That doesn't mean you need to swallow them. Write in a journal. Write a letter and burn it. Anything that helps you let go.
9. Xie Xie.
It means thank you in Chinese. Fully embrace your happy moments - love with abandon; be so passionate it's contagious. If a darker moment follows, remember it will teach you something, and soon enough you'll be in another happy moment to appreciate. Everything is cyclical.
And maybe most importantly,
Yield to peace.
The ultimate desire is to feel happy and peaceful. Even if you think you want to stay angry, what you really want is to be at peace with what happened or will happen. It takes a conscious choice. Make it
crzychick
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