BDSM Support Community Group
A group for those in D/s relationships, whether 24/7 or strictly casual. Also welcome are those not in relationships but craving that type of intimacy.
Hello,
I am new here and need a BDSM support community. Married woman, 32, submissive. I was collared by an older, married man. My husband allowed me this virtual relationship. Relationship (and collar) ended abruptly when his wife found out. I was in an opened polyamory, but he was cheating. To him,I was an affair. All affairs are doomed to end.
This being said, I am in pain and a major sub drop. This is intensified by a lack of real life bdsm friends (or who would understand and not judge this arrangement I just exited), and by not wanting to disclose my full suffering to my husband.
I need help combating this sub drop and feeling of pain and isolation. I am looking at steps to take in my real life, but I figured being part of a support group would help.Thank you for your help!
Perhaps you are relying on the overall effect of being a submissive to support your needs as a person. Being in love with your master is just as important as experiencing the pleasure of BDSM. Look for a partner that is interested in being dominant but at the same time offers the spiritual love you need as a person.
Go online and develop talking relationships with doms to get to understand their nature "before" you meet them. Go slowly and look for their needs as compared to yours.
I am a switch. I can be both ways and depending on the woman I am with, I can remain as to what she needs. Having a loving relationship with a submissive is a wonderful thing and it is one of the high points in life. How the dominate treats the submissive is an entirely different story. A submissive should always be treated with love and respect, even though she may wish to be whipped. As a Dom, it is my job to take her through the experience and bring her to a point of satisfaction but to do it safely and with respect.
That said, take a moment and look through a bunch a submissive videos online. Look at all types and ask yourself which kind of Dominant would I love to be with. Understand what floats your boat and look for that kind of person.
One of the mistakes we make in BDSM is that we forget that all relationships, BDSM or vanilla, survive because of mutual respect and loyalty. Whatever kind of love you seek also falls into that mix. Seek the balance between the two instead of just the dark power of domination. We still need the human connection to be completely happy