BDSM Support Community Group
A group for those in D/s relationships, whether 24/7 or strictly casual. Also welcome are those not in relationships but craving that type of intimacy.
...and I have a ton of questions. I'm looking for like minded people to share my experiences with and ask questions. I've been searching the web and found this site.
I've only had one Dom and it was strickly online. We are no longer in a relationship. Here are a few of my questions...
1. Can you be in a Dom/sub relationship part-time?
2. What if you are married and your husband isn't Dominant? Is it wrong of my to want an experienced Dom and not have to train my husband?
3. How do I bring up the subject with my husband that I need a Dom in the first place?
4. Where is a safe place to find a Dom online or in person?
See I have so, so many questions. Maybe someone can help me.
Thank you for your post. I have been an online Dom for many years. I started my journey back in the late 1990's. I have a few comments on the questions you posted based on my experience. I am in a Master/slave relationship now that has been going on for about 6 years now. I have found much happiness in our journey. I want to encourage you that you can find fulfilment in an online relationship. However like any relationship it takes commitment and hard work. There are ups and downs, however with the right person the journey can be wonderful.
1. Can you be in a Dom/sub relationship part-time?
It is my opinion that you can have many types of Dom/sub relationships and this includes full and part-time relationship. This is especially true for online relationships as the sense of touch and the physical is hard to experience. Life and life needs usually set the tone for an online relationship. Like any relationship it will take time to build the trust one will need to be come vulnerable.
2. What if you are married and your husband isn't Dominant? Is it wrong of my to want an experienced Dom and not have to train my husband? I don't think it is wrong to what to have the experience. I have a Master slave relationship with a woman who is married. The issues related to domination and submission are oftentimes existential issues as they are part of your whole complex of who you are. One of the challenges would be is your need for submission whole making or a means to medicate your needs. That will require self examination as sometimes it is not clear as to what motivates one. Jung considered it important for one to unit oneself with their shadows.
3. How do I bring up the subject with my husband that I need a Dom in the first place? The response to that question is a tricky one and you can only answer that for yourself. Some seek with their partner knowing and others seek in secret. You have to be able to live with the choice you make.
4. Where is a safe place to find a Dom online or in person? I have found FETLIFE a good place to start. Remember though online can be tricky as many who are there can be predators and abusers. Have patience. Join a few groups that seem safe and read posts and their profiles. Remember those who are earnest and are looking for a relationship will give it the time that it takes to develop. If you find you are being rushed then beware. Remember safety first in all things.
See I have so, so many questions. Maybe someone can help me.
If you have more questions please ask.
You answered my questions the same as others. When I first posted this, I was reeling and feeling incredibly alone. That is not the case now. I have joined several groups on the site that relate to me and my interest and I have been talking with many people. It has given me a bit of clarity and yes, satisfying a few of my needs.
I am being careful. I have the same user name on that site if you wish to reach me there.
Sincerely,
eyespy66