BDSM Support Community Group
A group for those in D/s relationships, whether 24/7 or strictly casual. Also welcome are those not in relationships but craving that type of intimacy.
Hi,
Can I get some external input on this as Im going nuts!
I've been interested in BDSM for at least 20 years (in in my mid forties) but have only been with an actual Dom about 6 times. The rest of the time I seen a escort who practices the art but isnt what you call a proper mistress (basiclly role play).
Now the issue is that I got married 10 years ago. At first my partner was ok with it and played the top (she knew I attended fetish clubs and the like) but after marriage she didnt want to do it anymore. For about 4 years everything was fine and I gave it up, then after a particularly stressful day at work I had enough and saw a dom. To say it blew away a lot of stress \ tension is putting it mildly. Problem is now everytime I get stressed out, this is my pressure release. I dont like cheating on my partner but Im having all sorts of bdsm scenarios play through my head which is pissing me off as i cant concentrate.
I discussed the issue yeasr ago with SO and she didnt like the idea of it anymore. So how can I reconcille my desires with the reality of my situation?
What is it that you need? Is there another way of getting this met? For example a service submissive could get that need met by volunteering. at say an animal shelter, and serving the needs of our animal friends.
So just something for you to explore. Otherwise if you really need this, then it's time to admit to her that you cannot live without it. And perhaps a therapist that you see on your own can give you insight as to why you need what you need. And sometimes there is no explanation, you just need it!
I hope this helps. Don't beat yourself up in shame that you made a mistake or had a weak moment. This will lead to more stress feelings of guilt ect.