Why would rape be an issue or you considered a hypocrite? Rape and BDSM are in no way, shape or form comparable, one has nothing to do with the other. BDSM is consensual, rape is not! I am a rape survivor but I was never seen as a hypocrite or had blame placed on me because of the lifestyle I live.

I'm a sub and have been living a 24/7 D/s - BDSM lifestyle for 30+ years. Besides a few uninformed people who choose not to educate themselves on something they know nothing about, I've never had the impression from others that women shouldn't like BDSM or that it's demeaning or any other negative response to the lifestyle. For those who do feel that way, that's their issue, not mine. My vanilla friends are just as accepting of my lifestyle as my lifestyle friends are.

Love and accept yourself for who you are, you don't need anyone's approval. Maybe find a munch in your area and get acquainted with others in the lifestyle.

How can being true to yourself be demeaning? I think being true to yourself is anything but demeaning.

First of all, rape has NOTHING to do with bdsm, bdsm is Sane, Safe and CONSENSUAL, never mix up abuse and bdsm. Secondly, you shouldnt be ashamed. Bdsm is freedom, it's understanding yourself and learning to love who you are! It has nothing to do with being abused or mistreated. I am a feminist and I love bdsm. There's nothing wrong with you!)

I think the word BDSM is misleading. One is not joining a club. We do spanking in our marriage but other than that it is a vanilla sexual relationship. BDSM is not an open door to have to do a lot of strange things. You do what you want and like to do so long as your partner is happy with it as well. In a marriage it remains private and kind of a shared secret between the two of us which somehow makes it more intimate.

The others are right, BDSM is consentual and rape is NOT. However there are many "dangerous players" out there who don't know the difference! They came here thinking "slaves don't have rights" "submissives don't have rights" "If you have limits, then you really have control over me!" I have been personally told this by the people I passed on. But then there are the people who lie and say they believe in consent and they are all about this, then turn around and treat you like a "no limits slave." This happened to me actually in a dungeon setting. Then I had a finger pointed at me and was slut shamed, kink shamed, and there were multiple reasons why they thought it was my fault and I deserved it.

But this is BULLSHIT!!! HOwever I had to spend time in therapy to overcome this. I can go through the internet and see posts of "rape apologists", kinksters who call themselves responsible, yet 2 sentces later suddenly make an acceptable excuse for rapists. And those who commit physical assault domestic voilence ect.

My advice to you is to begin with the law. What does the law in your state say about BDSM? What are the sex laws, domestic voilence laws, and assault laws in your state? Next, google sexual assault BDSM case. See how those who practice kink in your area are treated by law enforcement. Because where I live they do not take domestic cases to court if you are in a BDSM relationship. It's really screwed up, discriminatory, and voilates my rights to equal protection under the law!!! But it's the way things are. So gather facts and make the best choices for yourself. And if anyone ever tells you that you should be a crime victim for any reason at all, THEY ARE FULL OF SHIT AS A CHRISTMASS TURKEY! Good luck and I hope you find a great responsible place to scene and play and learn. See if there are any dungeons or play groups in your area. Then check those people out very carefully before you ever do a scene.