I have been struggling in my relationship, more so after the birth of my two and half year old son. I feel like I have slowly gotten closer and closer to contemplating leaving his father. His father has always been critical--its just part of his personality. He is a perfectionist and wants things done a certain way. This had become more evident after the birth of our son when I became a SAHM mostly and just worked occasionally. We came to an agreement that I would be the person that would do most of the cooking and cleaning. At first, I sort of sucked at this, but I have made an effort to get better at it and he aknowledges the fact that I have. At the same time, even though I have asked him to let up on his criticism (especially in front of our son) he still does it. Though, he admits that he thinks he has improved in this area. I have decided to go into therapy in order to learn how to better communicate with him so that I can stop giving my power away when he pushes my buttons (he has refused to go into therapy with me, himself).

But what gets to me the most is that he has recently been explosive with his anger. He is never physically abusive. But he has been physically abusive towards objects--if that makes sense. For example, the other day, our son accidentally unplugged the computer he was working on. In response, he flung all of his crayons off the desk in one fell swoop. Our son started crying and this made me cry as well. On another occasion, he actually broke one of my son's toys when my son was just a baby--although my son didn't see it happen at that moment (but this never happened again since). On another occasion, he was upset that our son took an important tool for out car and started swearing and yelling at him. When he does this towards our son, I feel like it takes on a whole different level. I don't want to admit that it's abuse, but I know it probably is. I have thought about giving him an ultimatum that if it happens again, I will leave and we will have to work out custody with our son. But at the same time, I know that I would probably come back to him because I love him and want to have a family and I feel cozy during the good times. He has admitted that he feels bad after he does this and then his behavior is good for a while. I spoke to him last night and he said he dosen't want to behave this way and he knows its a bad example for our son, but that he knows it will happen again.

Meanwhile, I feel torn and stuck. Not sure it I can leave yet at this point. Not sure what to do.