so 8 years of being with someone only to discover you never really knew them. It was an inappropriate relationship from the beginning, I was single he wasn't and I didn't care because I felt alone and I'd already prayed asking God to give me someone ( be careful what you pray for). Our friendship began innocent enough but quickly we got swept away in this fantasy of distraction to avoid feeling. It was nice mostly but somewhere in the last two years I began to notice lying and passive aggressive comments towards me, I let alot slide because our time together was so short I didn't wanna complicate things more. He was put out of his home and asked to stay with me until he got situated, DON'T EVER MOVE A LOVER IN! I saw things I couldn't believe I missed but I was emotionally attached so how could I just walk away,  This is so difficult , the more I kick him out the more he returns only to remind me why I did in the first place, There isn't any real respect or consideration and I find myself feeling more alone, Also some drug use on his part (weed   and ecstasy pills) I don't reconize the person that once made my heart flutter with just a text. He's determined to show me he doesn't need me as he once did and I'm frustrated with myself for not sticking to a decision, There's this dysfunctional connection but there's this Co dependant love where if one is in need the other shows unexpectedly. I don't want a lopesided relationship of any kind  but I haven't completely been able to let go. How do I miss you when you're gone and while you're near?