Avoidant Personality Disorder Community Group
A group for those suffering from Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD)
I'm uncomfortable meeting new people. I'm uncomfortable doing new things/things I'm unfamiliar with. I regularly fail to meet up to my own standards. I'm not actually sure if it's that I've forgotten how to make friends or that I'm woefully out of practice. Assuming my personality's okay, eventually, at some point, the person may find out about problems I've had in my life that affect me now. And then what?
At the same time, I'm in my late 30s. It's weird to be single and in your 30s in a bar. Or anywhere, really. Grocery stores are the worst. Well, maybe not the worst. But I'm shopping for one. And I wonder about the cashiers when they scan the products if they can tell what kind of life the person leads by their groceries.
I have a cat, which I think is weird for a man. But I don't have time to take care of a dog with the attention it needs and I wanted a pet. Thing is, it's hard to tell, but I'm not sure she likes me. She comes when she wants to be petted, and purrs, but she doesn't like to be held. That may be a cat trait though.
I'm terrified and angry a lot. I'm not sure how that works out, but there it is. I'll stop here, since I'm not sure where to end it this anyway. Take care.
At the same time, I'm in my late 30s. It's weird to be single and in your 30s in a bar. Or anywhere, really. Grocery stores are the worst. Well, maybe not the worst. But I'm shopping for one. And I wonder about the cashiers when they scan the products if they can tell what kind of life the person leads by their groceries.
I have a cat, which I think is weird for a man. But I don't have time to take care of a dog with the attention it needs and I wanted a pet. Thing is, it's hard to tell, but I'm not sure she likes me. She comes when she wants to be petted, and purrs, but she doesn't like to be held. That may be a cat trait though.
I'm terrified and angry a lot. I'm not sure how that works out, but there it is. I'll stop here, since I'm not sure where to end it this anyway. Take care.
Thanks for posting this, and please keep sharing. It helps me to hear other people struggling with some of the same things I do. I'm not sure if it helps to know that. (Great, we can be scared, angry and miserable together!)
I'm really uncomfortable meeting new people; I can't remember names well and have to keep asking until I see on their faces what they must think of me. I think a lot of us here fail to meet our own standards, and what's more, we are really hard on ourselves for failing, even though everyone fails sometimes.
I have a hard time in grocery stores, but also in restaurants. Every now and then I just want to be around people, but I'm there alone and sometimes people stare at me. "Was he stood up? Was he supposed to meet someone? Is he always alone like that? What's wrong with him that he doesn't have anyone?"
I see a lot of similarities in my anger and fear, I think they come from the same place. Maybe yours are the same?
I just want you to know that I appreciate your taking the time to post your thoughts.
Tim
Oh yeah, what you said about people finding out. I have felt that way for so long like I don't wanna get into a relationship becuz I don't wanna burden another person with all my mental crap. My counselor keeps trying 2 get me 2 see the positive instead of the negative but it's really hard 2 change a life-long habit.