I'm sorry. :( I'm trying not to go over there. Reid is soooooo annoying. I haven't personally had a problem with Blind, but I know he can be pretty harsh. Don't let them stop you from getting what you need over there. Just try to weed through the bull shit. There are still plenty of folks over there who want to talk about infidelity. Try to ignore. You can post about infidelity here if you feel more comfortable. Just because this is off topic doesn't mean we can't speak of it. Infidelity is what brought us all here, and we want to help. :)

Just keep in mind, the very nature of the reason we came here leaves us all sensitive little "emotional burn victims". The tiniest things trigger folks. I myself went into a Nazi regime with my H over "new rules" of what he (we) could/couldn't do, who we could talk to, what we could talk about (to each other and to others), and in the end, it was just me trying to take control over *something* because I felt so OUT of control.

Let's face it, people can get their panties in a bunch over just about anything. There are people who will correct your grammar, tell you that discussing your faith is inappropriate, berate you for being too honest, taunt you because you're too private - ya can't please everyone, so ya gotta please yourself. The hardest part is doing so without intentionally hurting others.

So here's what it comes down to. "I'm uncomfortable with ___" would have been sufficient for you to understand his boundaries and you probably would have said, "Oh, well, hell, sorry, didn't mean to step on anyone's toes," and life would have gone on. Instead, there was much dragging of emotional baggage and hurtful, well, I'll say "accusations" cos I'm tired and don't know how else to name it. Then all sides decided to hold on to their side of the chew bone. And to what end?

So let it go.

Zen, baby. Deep breath.

Remember: Be Kind; Everyone You Meet is Fighting a Hard Battle.

It takes me a while to wind down when something gets to me too. It feels crap but hang in there.

I chimed in on the recipes to help with de-escalating some of the stress over there! :) It's getting almost as bad as breakups and divorce - which is AWFUL! Not to mention they are great recipes and I want to brag on my ability to cook those things. HAHA I don't cook a lot....otherwise my contribution would have been "unwrap frozen pizza, bake at 350"

I also come away from conversations in which someone has offended me feeling bad all day.
I have been restraining myself from posting over there. Often I read a post (anywhere on DS) and wish I could say something, but find myself at a loss for words. There are sooo many different people, it doesn't seem to matter what you say, there is always a risk of bugging someone. I figured out Blind was a loose cannon pretty quickly. I wish we could warn all newcomers about Reid. I just saw a gal posting on Reids thread, having no idea that as usual he was telling someone elses story in Reidese. Blind did kinda apologize to you...that rarely happens! It's too bad that we can't be forthright and completely honsest about how we feel without running the risk of being jumped all over.

For this being a cut loose group, what I have from it is that we can talk about anything...including our feelings with relation to A's or marriage or divorce. Just that we are also free to talk about boobs, phones and slam Reid!:) I hope that is the case, b/c I am also not totally moved on and the A and my stbx are still on my mind a lot. I hope I don't bore anyone when I need to touch on those topics.

Yeah, I too am going through a really really crappy time that may make or break R, but I plain old don't feel safe posting about it for all of the reasons you all have brought up. :o(

Im sorry apoll for any way in which I contributed to that. :(

YOU didn't at all!!!! In fact, I wanted to give them all a boob-punch for how you were being blasted.

lol, thanks :)

well I felt like I was gut punched when he did that, cuz i had just shared some pretty intimate stuff, along with many others,,and I just felt stupid,,,,sigh,,,,,,,and I have to say, blind sent me an apology hug,,,,,,,I didn't respond,,,1 I tend to not pm with guys, and 2 well I was still hurt,,,, so I know at this point its me, and I'll get over it I just learned a little lesson , and I'll quit whining now :)

It's not just you. Blind has done this before. The reason it is excused (IMO) is because he owns up to his shit and will offer sincere and heartfelt support (usually good) when people need it the most. I don't like it when he snaps and I don't think he realizes how much it really hurts people. I do believe he is a fundamentally kind soul.

The other creature is an entirely other story!

Whoa, where did this happen? When? I wanna throw a punch for you know? I never knew what happened. I was staying off the boards. Well, I was trying to anyway....

Oh Kansas, I'm sorry. I just read what he wrote. I would have felt the exact same way. It was a forum to ask anything from the men, which means ask anything, write anything, if he didn't like it, well he didn't have to read...it was for the ladies. I'm glad he apologized. We all know how men can be sometimes!! ;) I certainly hope you don't stop posting. I for one, thought it was informative.... ;)

yeah he did it in 2 dif places, cuz topics were kinda spillin over into each other, one was ask men anything n other was either our tun,or the mens idk which,, but anyway, lol thanks last :)

apoll - sorry you are going through a rough time... please post about it in this group if you want to talk but need to avoid the other board, this is not only an off topic forum. :) <hugs>

I second the boob punch for blind, he was as snarky as a bitch during pms... not cool