ARE U MY MOTHER? Parental Alienation Community Group

Willfull disregard & poisoning of one parent, usually the non-custodial parent is common in high conflict abuse/custody cases. Children are led to believe they were abandoned, unloved, that the "alienated" parent is unimportant , unsafe to bond with, disregarded. Selfishly, this fulfills the narcissitic needs of the alienating parent who controls all info & access the...

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/ ARE U MY MOTHER? Parental Alienation Support Group

Anyone else?

Jrmcluskie
Jrmcluskie

I raised my now 16 year old son to the age of 13.  He has not spoken to me since the age of 13. My now 18 year old has now stopped talking to me.  I have been a good mom...I work as a counselor with my own business and never saw this coming...My boys were given everything I had...now, I am treated like less than a person.  How does this happen?  How do you cope?  It feels like the death of a child.  The courts have tried forcing their father to do counseling, to have the boys in counseling, to have them see me...all he does is break the orders and the judge does NOTHING!  I am an empty shell...every day and should be grateful with an amazing husband and 2 great step sons...but I am so sad and want my boys.  So much love to give and they pretend not to know me.  Does anyone have helpful advice?

machoorozconpollo
machoorozconpollo
Why is it that they don't want to speak to u anymore , if u don't mind me asking?
Jrmcluskie
Jrmcluskie
Alienation...their dad convinced them that I caused the divorce. They have been brainwashed. The courts see the brainwashing...but they don't know how to handle it.
Roswitha
Roswitha
My heart goes out to you. The courts are only very recently recognising the brainwashing issues. your case is extreme - as is mine. I do envy you having a healthy relationship and stepsons - but this isn't compensation, although I do hope it helps a bit. Good luck.
Fuzzybunny
Fuzzybunny
My heart breaks for you too. I had a similar situation with my daughter. My ex husband and I agreed that she could not have her drivers license until she had a job. Then one day, Mr. Awesome dad went and got her a drivers license anyway and I found out about it when she texted me in excitement. Grr. So - we agreed that she could not have a car until she got a job. Mr. Wonderful then got her a car without consulting me and told her she could only use it if she lived with him. That with the constant bad mouthing of me (and him buying her tons of stuff) led her to be very mean, condescending, and short with me. Then, he told her that because I did not always take her side against her brother, she was an emotionally abused child and that's when everything changed. She moved in with him and I rarely see her (she's 18 now). My heart is broken too - not only because of the alienation but also because his mentality won out - that if you don't have a designer handbag, etc., you are not anything. I actually make more money than he does by a lot but I am just more of a value oriented person than "stuff" oriented. I think that is a better way to be and I was trying to teach that to my children. I think was a really good mom. I spent plenty of quality time with them and we constantly did art projects and academic things, was involved with the school, took them on family vacations, and it was always important to me that both of my kids felt supported and protected. This came out of nowhere. So - I don't know. I do post divorce law and I know lots of divorce attorneys practicing for decades. All say the same thing - there really is there is nothing you can do but move on with your own life and keep sending Christmas and birthday cards. Maybe they will come back and maybe not. Volunteer to help underprivileged children and children who may not have any parents.
Jrmcluskie
Jrmcluskie
I'm so sorry to hear what you are doing through...it is a pain that others don't understand. The advice from everyone is move on...it is easier said than done. I hope things change for you.