ARE U MY MOTHER? Parental Alienation Community Group
Willfull disregard & poisoning of one parent, usually the non-custodial parent is common in high conflict abuse/custody cases. Children are led to believe they were abandoned, unloved, that the "alienated" parent is unimportant , unsafe to bond with, disregarded. Selfishly, this fulfills the narcissitic needs of the alienating parent who controls all info & access the...
5 years ago I lost custody to my son. My father had died from cancer and after being his caretaker, I became depressed and started drinking a LOT. My sons father dumped me because of it and kicked me out of the house. And then he served me with custody papers which I tried to fight but I ended up losing it and only receiving visitation rights. In 2013, with only three days notice, he took my son and moved across the United States. I thought him in court again and because of my past, and the fact that I am poor, I lost again. I have two weeks in the summer with him and one week in the winter. I have to fight tooth and nail to get his father to buy the plane tickets far in advance do enough so that I can get the time off work. But since time off is not necessary for him and money is not an issue for him he waits until the last minute and makes my life hell at my job. I am on a very thin line with my boss. Whenever I try to FaceTime my son, his dad finds a way to get him off the phone to tell him he's busy or he has to do something. He never tells me what's going on in my sons life. I have to get everything I can for my son who is only 10 years old so it is hard to keep updated with his life. I tried doing things like mailing a journal back-and-forth for us to ride in and draw in, we read books to each other on FaceTime etc. But after five years I have not healed. If anything I am slowly falling apart more and more all the time. Recently I cut myself. My son is happy and healthy and he doesn't seem to need me anymore. And from what his father tells him about me, I don't even know how he really feels about me anymore. His dad feels his head with lies about me. I feel like because I made mistakes in the past and I have no money and because I am so weak emotionally I am not up for the fight anymore. When does the new alienated parents finally let go? What am I supposed to do? My fiancé is worried that I will never be able to share a real life with him and children with him because I am always a complete wreck over my son. I am mope around and having anxiety attacks and I never go anywhere with him because I'm afraid to go in public because I am a wreck all the time. I don't know what I'm doing anymore and I don't know who to turn to. I'm desperate.
I, too am an alienated parent. My children were 10 and 12yrs old when they were take from me. Now they are 14 and 15. We only speak thru social media as well. After a year of depression when we first got separated, I have slowly begun to heal and move forward. I want to be strong and healthy for my children when they do decide to reunite with me. I want them to see me happy in spite of everything we have been through and not run down or gravely ill form the stress, hurt and pain caused by their father.
I won't let him win. He tried to murder my spirit by taking my children. If I were to give up on life, have a nervous breakdown, and remain severely depressed. He wins!
Live your life Lynne. If not for yourself and your fiancé - then do it for your beautiful son! He's gonna return to you one day - they always do - because they have questions! Start preparing yourself now for that day by investing in yourself and your happiness. Allow yourself to heal and become stronger. Accept the love of the new man you have in your life and move forward!
Knowing that- no one can ever take what's yours. And your son is yours! He will return to you. You may have to wait until he ages out of his father care. But I assure you, he will return!
Get to work on yourself - the greatest revenge is being whole and happy and looking and feeling fabulous!
Stay Inspired!
A mother who understands
I can't believe you've turned your life around in one year. It's been five years...what is wrong with me? I feel like I need to let go of him in some sense that I can't seem to understand, without really letting go. Does that make any sense?