Here i am, 4:30 am unable to sleep the full night through. Alone. The letterhead to the right of my group has it right "You're all alone". (Nobody else in the antisocial tendencies group) Its nice to see that in a forum of acceptance and positivity. It is a validating to see such a truth. Im not totally alone, i have parents, but they tire of a needy son with no friends.

I hear "i told you so" a little too much. I feel more comfortable in small groups or no groups. Everybody judges me and before, I could be certain that I was innocent, good and worthy of respect. I have committed no new wrongs, just dealing with being me.

I have faults that appear obviously and unquestionably. It is hard to be the cheery, confident alpha male. Why do i find a need to place blame? Maybe because many others are doing so well, and im the 31 year old living with his parents. Yes, im in my 8th year of post secondary education, but i have the memory of a goldfish.