An Addicts Spouse Community Group
Here we talk out our frustrations with a loved one's drug addiction. It is not always easy to deal with everyday stesses and when adding addiction problems, it can become very overwhelming. If your thinking of giving up or walking away, or just need someone to understand, give us a try.
I just joined this site and this group. I've been married for almost 24 years. My husband was injured on the job 10 years ago and hasn't been able to hold a job since. He was the provider and a great man before the accident. He's just not the same man anymore. Now I am the bread winner and he flounders not knowing what to do with himself. I know he has drank and smoked weed before, but his drug of choice has been gambling for 9 years. We have been through some very dark times and almost lost everthing. I have become much more independant in order to deal with still being with him. I have my own bank account and hide the card and checks. I hide my jewelry. He cannot ruin us finacially anymore. I realize it's a crappy way to live, but it makes me feel sort of detached and safe. Like I am in control of the situation enough that I can wait it out and still be here for him. I still love him and have devoted over half of my life to him. We have three almost grown kids and I just am not ready to throw it all away. I still have hope that it can get better and that I will be ok until it does get better. Is this foolish?
Things changed last week, though, and I'm not sure what to do. I found what I know is drug paraphernalia under our bathroom sink. I have some questions I'm hoping someone here can answer.
I found a square piece of foil that is all blackened on one side and the outside part of a plastic pen - like a straw, along with a lighter. Does anyone know what drug this is used for? He goes between being up for (literally) days and hardly eating, and crashing in bed for a week and eating non stop. Forgive my stupidity, but I just don't know much about drugs. I know he's doing something and probably has been for a while and I've been in denial. Where do I go from here? Do I say something to him? I know he'll deny it. Any advice?
Things changed last week, though, and I'm not sure what to do. I found what I know is drug paraphernalia under our bathroom sink. I have some questions I'm hoping someone here can answer.
I found a square piece of foil that is all blackened on one side and the outside part of a plastic pen - like a straw, along with a lighter. Does anyone know what drug this is used for? He goes between being up for (literally) days and hardly eating, and crashing in bed for a week and eating non stop. Forgive my stupidity, but I just don't know much about drugs. I know he's doing something and probably has been for a while and I've been in denial. Where do I go from here? Do I say something to him? I know he'll deny it. Any advice?
I know how you feel. I have been with my husband for 23 years. We have a 16 year old daughter. My husband has struggled with drug addiction for most of the 23 years we have been together. In the early years we did drugs together, however, I got scared straight and have never went back.
My husband was in a car accident when he was 18 years old which left him with a chronic bone infection in his right leg and has been the source of a great deal of pain over the years. He uses pain medication (Oxycotin and Percocet) quite frequently and started smoking it rather than taking it orally. His biggest addiction is to crack cocaine and crystal meth. A couple of months ago I asked him to leave because he and our daughter were constantly fighting. She had finally realized that her father was a drug addict and was not happy about it. He has tried getting clean a few times and is currently attending Narcotics Anonymous. He and I have a good relationship, but there are still issues of trust. Our daughter still does not want him in the house. Like you, I don't want to throw away my life with him if it can be fixed. I have known him for half my life.
As to what you think your husband is now doing in the way of drugs, it sounds like crystal meth. Crystal meth will keep you up for days because it is a stimulant and when you either run out of the drug or can't do anymore you finally crash and then need to sleep for days. I did it once in my life and that was once too many. I didn't do very much, but I couldn't get to sleep for 24 hours. I hated it. Some people use crystal meth as a means to control their weight because it makes them not hungry and you said that your husband was hardly eating. Anyone that is heavily into crystal meth will look very tired and underweight. People that do crystal meth over a long period of time will eventually become very paranoid. They will think they see and hear things that aren't really there. My husband got so bad at one point that I had him committed to a mental hospital. It is a very bad bad drug. If you suspect at all that your husband is doing crystal meth you need to get him help now or else. You don't want to see it get any worse, believe me.
I'm sorry if I have rambled on, but this is a very scary drug and you really don't want anyone you know or care about to get hooked on the stuff. I hope you can find help for your husband quickly.
Stay strong. : )
I'm thankful for this place to vent my feelings and I'm thankful for the understanding souls who read and reply on this forum.
Thank you.