Hello,

Your coming to this site for help is the best idea anyone could have under the conditions. You are attempting to help your friend remove obstacles or help make her burdens light, and this is very kind of you.

Try to keep her hopes up. Keep in mind that you can't change or heal her wounds, but you can help cover them with strength and courage. She is blessed to have such care by you, and the love. I hope for her best, and do take care of you while helping her. Gentle hugs for you today!

DEAR ZYANDRA - Thank you. I am already trying to figure out how to video our church services and post them for her and others who may be home bound in our church. That way, this winter when I know she will be stranded at her home, she will still be able to be a part of the services. BOY, DO I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN! :)

Letting her know you love her and she is not alone is one of the best things you can do for her. I lost my spouse on November 1st and his faith kept him strong. While you are caring for her, take care of yourself. I am a little lost and very alone right now. I have friends that want to help, but I just don't want to reach out yet. Love you friend. Support your friend. Helping her with her faith is key. Highly recommend contacting your local ALS Chapter. They helped in ways I never knew possible. Be her advocate and find out as much information as you can to help.

DEAR DEVINPA64 - I am trying to figure out how to go about getting our church services ready so when she is stuck at home at least she can tune in via computer.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine but I do so sympathize. May God be with you & give you peace.

First and foremost - know that just by thinking of her, you are being a wonderful friend! I am a nurse, and a personal caregiver for someone who was diagnosed with ALS 6 years ago. In the course of caring for him over this past year, he's become one of my very best friends, so I truly understand how you are feeling.

When it comes to being "stuck" in the house - please believe that she DOES NOT EVER HAVE TO BE. My patient was "stuck" in his home for two years, because his wife was not willing or able to figure out a way to get him out. Now that he is in our care, he goes out at least a few times every week. Even though he can't move a single part of his body, WE are able to pick him up and get him into a car, strap him in, put his wheelchair in the back, and go wherever he'd like. If you are unable to do THIS, there are also medical transport vans that can take your friend where she'd like to go (however, this is more expensive).

Also, remember that she is still your friend - her MIND, HEART, AND SOUL are the same. It is her BODY that is affected. Talk to her like you always have, laugh with her, cry with her, and do some of the same things you used to. You can't change her illness or prognosis, but what you CAN do is change how you react to it in front of her. It's all about the QUALITY of her life now, and believe it or not, she can still have some great quality. There are many resources out there to help you. I hope you've reached out to your local ALS Association chapter. Please do so! They are a wonderful resource for both of you.

Much love to you, and keep being a blessing!

Your support and love is all that can help this struggle. I just lost my mom in August at 60 years old. Looking back I had so much guilt I should have done more been there every day. etc etc. Whether I could have or should have done more what I did do is pick her up that first summer at least once a week at that time I could still help her in my pool and we just floated and talked. I did shave her legs and paint her finger and toe nails. and color her roots so she could still try to feel pretty.(and have something to brag about whenever someone mentioned how nice they looked) I did take her to appointments. Bring her pics of my hummingbirds who came to feed. And in the end I made sure she got to see the ocean one last time. So I guess what I am saying is make memories help little goals and dreams come true for your friend. And never be to busy to answer her calls I have great guilt over that.