All your ailments can come here Community Group
Since we usually have more thank one ailment or sometimes our ailment doesn't attract enough members to an forum thread-please feel free to post your open ailment discussions here.
I have been thinking lately. A friend from decades ago got in touch with me recently. I have not talked to her since I was in the hospital when I broke my back almost 10 years ago. She is about 7 years older than I, and astonished to hear that I have not recovered. Explaining to her that I am not ok, it got me thinking. Just what is wrong with me anyway? For me, I am trying to list what is going on from most to least inflicting in my life.
Partially crushed spine - The doctors say there is no good reason I have not recovered from it. Or why it continues to crush. And that the moderate to advanced arthritis along my entire spine is normal. But what I feel is sheer agony 24/7 that stops me from doing almost everything.
Panic attacks - From an incident when I was active duty Army that I don't want to remember. They used to be worse, but it still curls me up into the fetal position around my SDog while I scream myself unconscious. I have only had four so far this year. Before the pain from my back took over my life I would have as many as 2 a day. The official diagnosis is PTSD.
Fear - more symptoms from the PTSD. I have become afraid of so many things. Answering the phone, confrontations, doctors, aggression, and certain places just terrify me past the point of being able to cope. If I am not careful, it causes me panic attacks. I have found that pain overrides fear though...
Loss of coordination and concentration - I would like to say that this has a single origin, but it doesn't. Pain from my back causes my spoken words to slur, for me to stumble, my hands to shake. Fear does the same thing. Nerves that seem to be being more and more pinched from my crushed spine are affecting my general coordination, and hand eye coordination. Lastly, that I know of, are all the meds. Tranquilizers for the fear. Antidepressants for depression and to help with the fear. Opiates and anti-seizure meds for pain management. All of these screw with my emotions, my coordination, my thought process, my short term memory (which means no medium or long term memory), and my balance.
Right shoulder - Insult to injury. According to the doctor who looked at it from across the room, I have tendinitis. According to ME, I partially dislocated it, pushing the ball joint an inch forward from where it was supposed to be eight months ago. Since then, I have gained back about 30% of my mobility in that arm. There are three specific pain points that are no more than a dime in size... As long as I keep it resting on something it is ok - but if I don't it screams in pain.
Bi-Polar - which can just be annoying at this point. Going from happy to angry back to happy to numb to sad back to numb then happy in as little as a few hours or as long as a few weeks just makes things harder to cope with, ya know?
Knees - this is what originally got me my medical discharge, screwing up my knees. They swell often, but unless my back pain is under control I don't even notice them. With my new pain management starting to work, they are becoming more and more noticeable. I have no strength in them. I need to work on that.
Hips - ok this one makes no sense to me. Why the flock do my hips hurt? The best I can come up with is that I did get a stress fracture in my right hip in '95? But why does my whole pelvic bone just ache?
Lower back pain - sigh, my lower back has started hurting in the last couple of months. At first I thought that I had done something to it, but thinking it through, it started bugging me about a week after my doctor took me off muscle relaxants. Not quite sure what to do or make of this yet.
Shoulder and neck stiffness - this is due to my odd gait. I am very careful when I walk to not jar my spine in anyway. I also walk with my torso slightly leaning to the left to take strain off my right shoulder.
Migraines - oh these suck. At least once a week I will not take some of my opiates because I don't need them and I am rewarded for my want to get off opiates with a withdrawal migraine. I refuse to take opiates to avoid withdrawal symptoms!!!
LOL last and entirely least, I was bitten by a spider today and I have a small swollen ouchy spot on my hand!! And yesterday I had work done on my back tattoo, so that area of my skin is dry and a bit ouchy to the touch - but it is fine as long as I don't scratch it.
so that is me... 44 years old and what a mess sigh, slowly but surely I have to get better
yadlim
Partially crushed spine - The doctors say there is no good reason I have not recovered from it. Or why it continues to crush. And that the moderate to advanced arthritis along my entire spine is normal. But what I feel is sheer agony 24/7 that stops me from doing almost everything.
Panic attacks - From an incident when I was active duty Army that I don't want to remember. They used to be worse, but it still curls me up into the fetal position around my SDog while I scream myself unconscious. I have only had four so far this year. Before the pain from my back took over my life I would have as many as 2 a day. The official diagnosis is PTSD.
Fear - more symptoms from the PTSD. I have become afraid of so many things. Answering the phone, confrontations, doctors, aggression, and certain places just terrify me past the point of being able to cope. If I am not careful, it causes me panic attacks. I have found that pain overrides fear though...
Loss of coordination and concentration - I would like to say that this has a single origin, but it doesn't. Pain from my back causes my spoken words to slur, for me to stumble, my hands to shake. Fear does the same thing. Nerves that seem to be being more and more pinched from my crushed spine are affecting my general coordination, and hand eye coordination. Lastly, that I know of, are all the meds. Tranquilizers for the fear. Antidepressants for depression and to help with the fear. Opiates and anti-seizure meds for pain management. All of these screw with my emotions, my coordination, my thought process, my short term memory (which means no medium or long term memory), and my balance.
Right shoulder - Insult to injury. According to the doctor who looked at it from across the room, I have tendinitis. According to ME, I partially dislocated it, pushing the ball joint an inch forward from where it was supposed to be eight months ago. Since then, I have gained back about 30% of my mobility in that arm. There are three specific pain points that are no more than a dime in size... As long as I keep it resting on something it is ok - but if I don't it screams in pain.
Bi-Polar - which can just be annoying at this point. Going from happy to angry back to happy to numb to sad back to numb then happy in as little as a few hours or as long as a few weeks just makes things harder to cope with, ya know?
Knees - this is what originally got me my medical discharge, screwing up my knees. They swell often, but unless my back pain is under control I don't even notice them. With my new pain management starting to work, they are becoming more and more noticeable. I have no strength in them. I need to work on that.
Hips - ok this one makes no sense to me. Why the flock do my hips hurt? The best I can come up with is that I did get a stress fracture in my right hip in '95? But why does my whole pelvic bone just ache?
Lower back pain - sigh, my lower back has started hurting in the last couple of months. At first I thought that I had done something to it, but thinking it through, it started bugging me about a week after my doctor took me off muscle relaxants. Not quite sure what to do or make of this yet.
Shoulder and neck stiffness - this is due to my odd gait. I am very careful when I walk to not jar my spine in anyway. I also walk with my torso slightly leaning to the left to take strain off my right shoulder.
Migraines - oh these suck. At least once a week I will not take some of my opiates because I don't need them and I am rewarded for my want to get off opiates with a withdrawal migraine. I refuse to take opiates to avoid withdrawal symptoms!!!
LOL last and entirely least, I was bitten by a spider today and I have a small swollen ouchy spot on my hand!! And yesterday I had work done on my back tattoo, so that area of my skin is dry and a bit ouchy to the touch - but it is fine as long as I don't scratch it.
so that is me... 44 years old and what a mess sigh, slowly but surely I have to get better
yadlim
Hugs
I really think the fear is just not wanting to get anymore pain. Not emotional, not physical, just please no more. At least that is how I feel.
And in my list yesterday, I somehow forgot cancer... talk about something that is hard to forget!! Thyroid cancer is the best kind to get, because there is such a high survival rate... but the hormone replacement makes one more prone to injury, bones break easier, cartridge rips. The six inch scar across my throat pulls and tugs on muscles if I stretch wrong. My throat aches and I use honey or Vit E to sooth it, for the last two years. And then there is the radiation therapy... it just steals all your energy and so far does not give it back.
What I find weird is that five years ago, I was fine on OTC pain killers, though I was not at productive at work. Now I wonder how I am going to pack one or two boxes today.
Hugs journeythru, it seems that at some point in chronic pain, the symptoms seem to match everyone else with chronic pain, or at least close enough. I wonder if it is because there are only so many things that can hurt?
yadlim
I love how when drs can't set a diagnosis they just label multi problems with the same illiness...like with VETS they use the PTSD!
I take it they did MRIS of your spine? With back injuries and seem to be forever there-they just keep returning :(
With Misha close at hand,I would think that might help reassure you that you aren't going to get yourself too upset with a situation or person...you don't want Misha to knock you down :)
arrrrgggg MRIs of my spine... mind if I vent for a moment? The original injury in '05 the MRI in ER showed that I had crushed almost 30% of my T6 vertibrea. The MRI in '08 showed almost 50% of the bone gone from the T6 and two herniated discs. The MRI in 2012 showed just under 70% of T6 gone, 20% of T5 gone, and four herniated discs. The MRI in 2014 showed just over 75% of the T6 gone, 20% of T5, Dr did not discuss discs. The Bone Density scan, taken an hour after the MRI scan in 2014, shows moderate to advanced arthritis along my whole spine, but that it is stable?????? WTF???? How is that stable???
Sign me up for the bionic body - I am ready to go full cyborg!!!
yadlim
Ok-bring on the cyborg body and I will get ya some oil and grease incase you squeek