All your ailments can come here Community Group
Since we usually have more thank one ailment or sometimes our ailment doesn't attract enough members to an forum thread-please feel free to post your open ailment discussions here.
It is almost half past eight in the morning and I have been awake and alone, other than the dogs, for over two hours. I can't get my pain under control - all my pain meds are doing is fogging my brain. I HATE that feeling. It constantly amazes me that people seek out this feeling, it is horrible and I would do anything to get rid of it and pain at the same time.
Yesterday I wound up being up and moving for too long - literally until my body said it was done and I had to hand my horse, who was getting new shoes, to the closest person so I could lay down on the grass a couple feet away and black out.
It is not like I was DOING anything, just waiting in a lawn chair waiting for the farrier to get there. He got tied up with a bad acting horse and was several hours late. But just sitting up and interactive with other people for several hours than standing to hold my horse for the 30 minutes it took for his turn getting his feet done was too much.
I had my Misha there to curl up with me and my daughter to eventually help me up and into the car to drive me home. It worries me though, I have lost the ability to be alone. Hubby is home, but he is sick in bed. Daughter just left after interacting with me for about 10 minutes to go on a date to the zoo.
My subconscious wants to bolt. To run away, get away from the fear of being overwhelmed with what is not getting done, fear of pain, fear of needing to be UP enough to take care of sick hubby, and most of all of physical pain...
But running away will make everything worse. I can't give into the fear as tears will cause a headache and spasms in my back.
So I sit here, at my computer, trying not to ruin the careful training of my Service Dog to respond to me when I am 'off', but as there is nothing I can do right now to get back to any semblance of 'normal', even she has just curled up at my feet.
all the while, if I listen, there is a voice SCREAMING in my mind that I am ALONE and no one would notice if I fell... so I won't be leaving my chair until hubby gets up...
yadlim
Yesterday I wound up being up and moving for too long - literally until my body said it was done and I had to hand my horse, who was getting new shoes, to the closest person so I could lay down on the grass a couple feet away and black out.
It is not like I was DOING anything, just waiting in a lawn chair waiting for the farrier to get there. He got tied up with a bad acting horse and was several hours late. But just sitting up and interactive with other people for several hours than standing to hold my horse for the 30 minutes it took for his turn getting his feet done was too much.
I had my Misha there to curl up with me and my daughter to eventually help me up and into the car to drive me home. It worries me though, I have lost the ability to be alone. Hubby is home, but he is sick in bed. Daughter just left after interacting with me for about 10 minutes to go on a date to the zoo.
My subconscious wants to bolt. To run away, get away from the fear of being overwhelmed with what is not getting done, fear of pain, fear of needing to be UP enough to take care of sick hubby, and most of all of physical pain...
But running away will make everything worse. I can't give into the fear as tears will cause a headache and spasms in my back.
So I sit here, at my computer, trying not to ruin the careful training of my Service Dog to respond to me when I am 'off', but as there is nothing I can do right now to get back to any semblance of 'normal', even she has just curled up at my feet.
all the while, if I listen, there is a voice SCREAMING in my mind that I am ALONE and no one would notice if I fell... so I won't be leaving my chair until hubby gets up...
yadlim
I know when I'm in pain I do not like being alone-and usually it is during the night when others are asleep so how can I accidentally wake them up so I don't feel alone :) But what can they do :(
Even though your husband is sick in bed-if you did fall wouldn't Misha bark? Does Misha know to bring you the hhone? Or perhaps you could keep a phone with you all the time or one of those services where you push the button for help? (just thoughts trying to reassure you) :)