I read an autiobiograpy of someone quite famous..but what I read was this person came across a man who would always be polite always be smiling..would help people but he llooked like he didnt have hardly any money but he was alwys giving..this man died and nobody turned up to his funeral at first you think this is so sad but when you think about it its not that wonderful man at the time gave something of himself to each person and he did why because he just was a beatiful souled person...I try and make people smile Lol sometimes it does not work but at that moment if it does it was a precious moment ..I have given to people and have had some nasty things said but they live with themselves they look in the mirror..when my number is called and if Im lucky enough to have a few moments in between the words God have a stiff drink here I come..I can think I gave it my best shot..so my answer to give up is why?

I couldnt say anymore than what JOKEYJ has said above.

Its good to give and do for others.It is all so ok to say no I wont be taken advantage of .You need ti figure out when and what you feel comfortable in giving of your self.If you think you are being used it is ok to say No.I give more of myself than I receive back.But I sometimes do say no.

Give up in what way?

It sounds like you are just being a push over and a door mat. That is why people don't respect you and keep being fickle. First off let me just say that it's not an accident you keep getting used. People who are users actively look for people who can't say no. That's how they've gotten by in life. They even act like they are such good friends but the reality they are just trying to convince you they are your friend so they can keep sucking you dry.

This is not healthy nor is it really kindness on your part. Your charity isn't genuine if you resent it. Other people can tell. They knew you didn't want to give them jack shit that's why they had to twist your arm to get it. They aren't stupid they do it on purpose.

You will keep having this problem until you learn how to say no and stand up for your self. First of all I think you need to stop worrying about making friends. You don't need friends who are dragging you down those aren't friends at all, they are what I call dead weight and I don't wast time with them. You don't have time to worry about being a "nice" guy. There's no law or requirement for you to be nice to any one. They weren't nice to you nor were they concerned for your feelings. Stop worrying about hurting other peoples feelings. Their feelings wont be hurt just because you said no to them. A true friend will just accept it when you say no and still be your friend.

Now the secret to saying no is very simple. Stop giving them too much information. Just say "No I can't sorry." And never say more than that. Users will always try to dig the info out of you by asking you for more details like why you can't.

At that point you just need to say "Sorry I have to go right now."
or "I'll tell you about it later" even though you have no intention of telling them.

Eventually if you keep evading them they will give up.

But even better if you can just directly tell them no and if they ask why you can't you just directly tell them it's none of their business. If they throw a tantrum you just tell them you've had enough of their shit and your done with them.

It may seem callous and heartless but it's very effective at getting rid of the dead weight very quickly.

In the future I suggest you start actively choosing your friends. In other words start being more observant. You can tell a lot about a person just by watching them for awhile. And when you find some one who you know is a good person then you befriend them first. Being a friend is just showing you care for the other person first with out them even having to ask you. Every thing should be offered nothing should be forced from you. And on the same token you have understand that you may not get anything in return. But if you find a true friend you will get plenty in return. Something more valuable than money.

The secret to finding a true friend is by being one first. And also by setting up boundaries and not allowing any one to cross them. If they cross a boundary it means they have directly disrespected you and you do not have to take that. It's not being mean or cruel or a bad person to cut disrespectful people from your life. Nor is it wrong to make people earn your trust and friend ship.

I know that's a tall order. It doesn't change over night but only you can change this pattern. I can't run to your side and chase these assholes away or I would.

I use to have the same problem. I had a mother who taught me to be a coward because it was the nice thing to do. But the truth is that isn't being nice at all. It's an unhealthy habit that invites trouble. It sets you up to be used by people who aren't your friends.

But I finally had enough of being used and I finally had a few friends who helped me see that my mother was sick and didn't know what she was talking about.

There's nothing wrong with standing up for your self or saying no! And don't let any one tell you you're a horrible person just for demanding respect. That's the first thing a user does is accuse you of being selfish or a bad friend or try to guilt trip you in any way that they can.

But you don't have to feel guilty there's nothing to feel guilty about. So it's time to start turning the tables on these people. Get your life back.

Thanks all.

No and NEVER!
You are worth so much more than being able to ever give up. Don't sacrifice yourself for anyone but God. Much easier said than done because there are days I just want to crawl under a rock, but I have to believe that I am here for a reason and in the end, it will all make sense.

Sometimes it is giving up.. sometimes it is letting go and moving on. It sounds like you need to let go of some of the negative things in life and move toward happier days. That is not giving up. That is giving yourself the compassion and forgiveness you give to others and it is what you deserve to give to yourself.