ALL MOODY BLUES Community Group

This group is for all people, no matter what disease, disorder, or life issue that causes you moody times and needs a little support or wants to give support. Be yourself, have fun meeting new people that care and understand you. RULES- show respect, no extra drama, no bashing, keep personal info confidential , and don't give advice [ if asked ok] . problems or...

169 Members
1,384 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ ALL MOODY BLUES Support Group

Man this sucks......

SeanPain
SeanPain
Last night i watched my ring ( Wrestling ) get hauled away by the guys that are taking the show over now and took it about 100 miles away.........I almost broke down as soon as they pulled out of my driveway..... Im still feeling alot better about me and my life BUT i just cant get over the fact that i cant EVER wrestle again and can NEVER step into the ring as a competitor again. I think im getting worse again because i can feel the pain in my heart now EVERY DAY and it feels worse with each day that passes by, Im not a normal everyday 9-5 joe. Im different. I feel different i look different and i dont see the world like other people do....and i dont think i will EVER be able to fully recover from this loss because its been damn near 2 years since i said goodbye to competing inside the ring and it just gets worse and NEVER feels better. I want it to get better SOOOO badly but my heart and my soul just refuse to let go....

Last night almost as soon as they pulled away i hopped in my truck and sped down to the corner store and bought two pre made jack and cokes in the cans sped home and downed them within 5 minutes
( These are 24Oz cans )
Im not built to deal with this in a constructive fashion.

AAAHHHHHH!!!!!! i feel like im going insane sometimes, Im sorry guys but i just need to let this out somehow and this tends to help...Im sorry if this gets irritating coming from me at the very least on a weekly basis, idk maybe i SHOULD just go away for a bit....hell i just dont fuckin know anymore.

If this annoys anyone to bad please tell me and ill just stop posting.....
irishwriter
irishwriter
i am so sorry you are going through such a terrible time. have you nobody at all who can help you..
SeanPain
SeanPain
No'one in my life is close enough to the subject to even understand how important this was/is to me....My poor wife has to deal with my up and down attitude everyday and that kills me because she just has to look on as i fall harder and harder each time that this hits. Everyone says that i focus to much on wrestling but the people that say this have never had a passion or anything that ever meant this much to them. I think the biggest thing about wrestling is that the ring has been the ONLY place that i have ever been able to feel COMPLETELY FREE and no matter how short of a time i was shaun painlayer inside the ring at any given time didnt matter because i was able to lose myself in what i was doing.....I just miss it so much and no matter how easy everyone thinks it SHOULD be to just up and replace it with something else...i just cant do that because everything else in this world pails in comparison to professional wrestling to me and it will never be able to be replaced...

Atleast my psyc appointment is less than a month away and from what i hear he is supposed to be pretty good and helpful but we'll have to see.
J0KEYJ
J0KEYJ
Im new to this group and just joined and saw your discussion..I so can relate to missing something..I had a job 14 years I loved it.. everyday different..I worked with some wonderful people..the company which was large was in serious trouble and the firm went under..we had administrators in and they are ruthless..I was absolutely devasted because I would not be with the people I worked with again..we played jokes had rows but we was there for each other..I couldnt face it..I got offered another job somewhere else but they was not the same people..I cried for months..I sort of tried to not get attached like that..the pain they was like my family we had a bond hard to explain..I understand what you are saying..
SeanPain
SeanPain
I know that everyone can relate in one way or another and thank you for sharing with me JOKEY and yet still this always feels like a battle that isolates you mentally from everyone else in this world.....I HATE THIS!!
J0KEYJ
J0KEYJ
biggest hugs..I know what youare saying.. its really hard.. been two years for me..I know people say it was just a job but the people they kept me going..I will say today was the first day in a really long time that I really really laughed..over a blocked toilet..I have not laughed like this..I do laugh but have not had one where you dont care if you get in trouble you just cant stop... it sure has felt good...
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Why don't you take all the time and energy you put into wrestling and put it into another hobby that you can work on being good at? Or how about staying connected with wrestling in some way and u won't miss it quite so much.
SeanPain
SeanPain
I have nothing else that connects with me in anyway as wrestling did.....and i cant be around wrestling in any other way except competing because its to hard to watch people that are still able to do it....i know this sounds selfish but its how im wired.
kmhll447
kmhll447
wish we could help you find something new to be passionate about. When your life changes so drastically, it is like a divorce...losing a part of your family. Don't be too discouraged, just know that it will take time for that part of your life to be filled with something else.

Praying for you to find some peace.
SeanPain
SeanPain
kmhll447 its not just a part of my life it IS a part of ME that i have been forced to part with and i just cant seem the right way to positively leave it behind and move on and i dont think that i'll EVER be able to.....
J0KEYJ
J0KEYJ
what you are saying its in your blood..hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please dont go any where, this is what we are here for, Im sorry that you are feeling so down, to have something that you loved ripped away from you is like losing some one you need to grieve and we all do this differently, if i can help in any way just let me know, thinking about you. x
kmhll447
kmhll447
just like special people in your life, that will always be a piece of your heart. The ache will remain, but you are strong, and will get through this. Still praying...
SeanPain
SeanPain
Yep exactly JOKEY its almost like its embeded in my DNA
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • billwfriend

    great tasty results of smoking St Louis style ribs

    Posted by: billwfriend
    Last Reply: billwfriend
    6
    check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
  • Albatross

    Loneliness is part of my identity now

    Posted by: Albatross
    Last Reply: hasty_05
    6
     I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...