Hey Sean,

One of my favorite quotes...I heard one of my favorite musicians say it, when he screwed up at the beginning of a song is:

"Oh my god, fucking somebody fucking stab me in the fucking eye with the fucking Empire fucking State Building fucking now. Fuck"

I think that about sums things up a lot of the time for you during this time for you...
All I can say, is stay AWAY from Facebook....it doesn't matter what she say, or does, she is in your past...there's no revenge you can get that doesn't have a felony attached to it. You know the truth, everyone here knows the truth...let Facebook go for awhile...she knows it riles you up when you see it, so don't give her the satisfaction, and give yourself less drama and more calm.

You cant change her Sean. I don't know all the details of your relationship. I guess sometimes after awhile we just get angry and don't think how our actions or reactions can effect one another. Some how things can spiral out of control. I hope things get better my friend . Keep coming here you need a safe outlet.

thank you both.

Im just to the point to where even my thoughts are starting to get extremely violent about this situation and its really taking a hell of a toll on my mental and physical health as generic as that sounds to say.......I need this to end but first i need to stop doing what im doing and thinking what im thinking.....Because tbh im the one looking at all this shit and causing all the trauma to myself by seeing what was going on at the time so i cant blame anyone but me for feeling this way that i am currently

I had an argument with someone..both said stuff..but what happened was one person was not communicating properly..the other then seeing stuff that was not what was really being said..to assume..which when you break it down..to assume makes an ass out of u and me..also other people get involved and although they have best intentions maybe some dont..it gets flammed more..plus both of you are hurting..or upset..both peoples mineset is not functioning logically..if she was really and truly happy she wouldnt even write stuff..I went to a good friend and got it all out..someone who does not know the one I argued with..then I sat back and thought..one I didnt need the headache the stress..its not healthy.raising my bloodpressure over someone is not worth it...I also had to look at some of the things I said was right..some of it I was acting kind of childish..I had to apologize for that side..I also dont want to be a circus to give others a kick from oure argument..so I stopped it..let the person have their say..took it on board..LOL and stopped torturing them with my simmering anger..we both are different..but just needed to get the balance ..wish you well and do you know what..I feel alot better ..

If you read everything on her FB you wouldnt feel like you werent thinking logically.......you had a FB that i didnt even know about while we were together and telling everyone what an asshole i was and that i was beating her and how she was so in love with her BOO.......and everyone commenting on those statuses were my FRIENDS, I want to rip some ppl some new assholes for that shit, and that is why i can never go home because even my home town/state has been ruined for me because of how fake everyone i THOUGHT i knew actually were. Im extremely pissed off right now and aggitated that come to find out i have NEVER truly had a friend.....Fuck even my WIFE was a fucking fake bitch that couldnt even tell me the truth and thats the most fucked up part of all of it.

You cant blame yourself for the feelings you have. You are going through a complete emotional roller coaster right now. You deserve a lot of credit coming here doing the right thing putting your feeling down instead of acting on them. Its unfortunate there are a lot of fake people out there, no matter where we go. I all ways hated the expression Boo. Are you taking anything for depression.? Maybe it could help you write now.

Im not on my regular meds because no insurance and barely any money doesnt add up to seeing a psychiatrist in this world so right now im going through all this bullshit completely alone even tho my family says i need to talk more and get my feelings out.......When i attempt to do that they just get extremely wierded out and then just get quiet so ive said fuck it and im not talking to any of them about anything. I was going to even go donate plasma saturday because im all but flat ass broke right now and the plasma bank told me no because i dont have a TN I.D. yet and in order to do that i need the money that i dont have......i even called in to work today because right now im feeling very frustrated and possibly violent so i thought it wise to just stay home but when my mom asked if we were going to work and i told her no all she could fuckin do was roll her eyes and skip to a different subject before abruptly leaving the for 3 hours ago........idk what to fuckin do about all this shit......everyone gets pissed that i seclude myself yet when i try and open up they get pissed because im DWELLING on the past......How in the fuck can i get over the past if thats all i fuckin see?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats all they bring up, Thats all they ask me about, Thats all i get mentioned toward me when i walk through the fuckin house......im getting to the point to where im just wanting to give up....I cant stand this shit anymore.

I meant before abruptly leaving the house..........

Talking to family rarely works. Most have to strong opinions and do not understand what we are going through emotionally. Is there any free clinics where you live? They often can help getting us insurance, especially when dealing with depression .