I'm living through one of those times when everything just collapses on you all at once. I paid my rent a year in advance and and now in September that runs out and my account is over drawn and I am bouncing checks. I got an ISF return on the check I wrote for my electric bill and now they won't take my checks any more. I can only send money orders and go to my local office and pay cash or pay by phone with a debit card which is my only option because I have no car but there is a six dollar charge for paying that way.

The transmission in my truck went out, I can't get it into fifth gear. It shifts just fine on first through forth gear so it would be fine to just drive it to the grocery store of to the pharmacy but unfortunately some one stolid my license plates and I have to re register the vehicle which means I have to go through emissions inspection again and pay 25 dollars and get temporary plates to do that and then pay the 35 dollars to register it assuming I pass inspection. The problem with all of this is that I have to go there by freeway and that means using fifth gear which I don't have and it's entirely likely that if I drive it much the transmission will go out entirely. So I'm stuck with a truck in my apartment complex parking lot that has no plates and in august will have no insurance and I'm afraid they will have it towed away and I will just lose it because I can't afford to get it out of impound.

In October my apartment complex is switching cable providers and it's a company I have used before and I though I might have a past due balance that would prevent me from getting service so I called and found out according to their records I owe them some 850 dollars, I asked for an explanation for the charges and they weren't able to give me any records but part of it is a mistake I made years ago. So long story short I can't get cable which sucks because I stay at home all the time because I'm on disability and barely make enough to cover my expenses.

So now i have to walk or ride the bus and I know nothing about the city bus system but I've been doing some research online and it seems pretty straight forward. I can walk to the pharmacy to get my meds and soda or a few things I need but it takes me an hour to go there and back and I live in Phoenix Az and it is so freaking hot I have to duck into a store to cool down for a little while which makes it take longer. and the biggest problem I have is that I am BROKE and there are pple that owe me money and I can't get them to pay me back other than a few dollars at a time. I scared because I don't know if I'm going to make it in September just paying rent and bills that I have to and I really have to cut down on my groceries. The state will help me with that a little bit but not much I can only get one food box and month and it's usually stuff I hate, how much peanut butter , canned peaches and government cheese does one person need and I hate peanut butter.

I really need a job and my clinic is helping we with a vocational rehab program that helps me make a resume and make applications. I have been assigned a rehab specialist who's job it is to help me find a job but part of it is up to me and I'm just stuck and I don't know what to do and he is too busy to hold my hand and I'm a grown up so he shouldn't have to. And if I get a full time job I run the risk of losing contact with my best friend. I pray a lot because I don't know what to do but this is mostly a rant so I know it's long and you may not have read the whole thing but any support you could give me would be appreciated.