I have no idea SeanPain but I too have ben going through it for about 3 months.I take my meds I havent ben drinking, but I know I am not happy with my life and try to change what I dislike but it all stays the same.I just keep hoping I find some stability and happyness and I hope you do to.

Oh my God I can relate exactly to your post, word for word that's me.

Melinda

for myself ten years I had different symptoms that changed..pain.. tireness..aching..tears.. burning inside couldnt feel cold..list goes on the worse part nobody believed me..I would change suddenly and whilst this was going on changes to how I looked ..I was slowly being shut down and when I looked in the mirror looking back was this dull eyed grey face person it was not me..I was begging people look at me..I could hardly walk..only way to describe it I was in hell..well I was believed after some tests and with a battle I am slowly getting all the pieces back of me..Its a very tough battle..working on emotions..memory issues..I get confused is this just normal or is it my conditon playing tricks yet again..I dont know how Ive not lost my mind. some might say I have LMAO .but living on a emotional rollercoaster is hard..people say allsorts of things something Ive done in a previous life..Im being tested love discussions on them ideas..Hugs Sean from someone else whose in a battle..but I guess this might sound odd but we are in a fight but a different one ..a slighty different kind of opponant..but its the best man wins or lady in my case and win I will ..so JokeyJ v conditon ..Im going to give it the best fight ever

Im going to kick its ass..be the last one standing...its picked the wrong person to play games with

you have to organize urself. make lists even if it's just 2 tasks to do per day, its a huge accomplishment. take an inventory of yourself. what do u want to work on with u, and what r ur strengths

Im trying to fight this everyday i wake up and say TODAYS THE DAY I FIGHT BACK!!! but then i walk into the bathroom and see myself in the mirror and it just simply disgusts me. I am NOT myself and whenever i feel like im getting back to me my emotions boot me in my face and land me right on my ass. Its not easy to force myself back up when it happens and this is pretty much an everyday deal..... Im just so sick of being like this and i want an out in the worst way... Im not talking suicide or anything like that BUT i am pushing myself to not think that way anymore for right now. If this psyc doc doesnt do anything for me than i dont know where the hell i'll end up MENTALLY if he turns out to be just like every other doc i have seen over the past 2 years for this issue. Example: Last night when i got home from the store i went DIRECTLY into the garage started playing some music and hits the weights pretty good then went into the house got on my fight game ( For PS Move ) I sweated my ass off and felt very good about it but then right afterwards i fell right back down and damn near broke into tears again because i thought about how hard it is staying positive nowadays. The first show since i quit wrestling was last night and one of the guys called me and invited me down and said
( Hell man even if you just wanna show up unexpected you know we'll find a spot on the show for you )
All i wanted to do all day after that was scream because the hurt inside is so bad...its not just a hurt its a longing from my heart for the love of my life that i can NEVER reconnect with. I hate it and it feels like im living within a horrible hellish dream that i cant get out of....I wish someone would slap me in the face and allow me to wake up back inside the ring...Back HOME!!!

I know seanpain..the screaming inside..I looked in the mirror and I was gone.. for myself Ive beenreplaced by a freak a ugly creature..I wish someone would take me out of my nightmare let me be who i was before..so yes I understand about being back home..Hugs Seanpain

I just want to be a wrestler again so bad and it feels like im waiting for a christmas morning that will never come.....I just dont know what the hell to do with myself now. I want to get back to the gym on a more permenant basis but the downward swings in my mood prevent that big time.

seanpain..for myself I was saying to a GP nurse theres no specalist to talk to because one how can you talk to someone whose not in your shoes..they can listen but how can they understand...Seanpain and I guess the ones who are still active in wrestling although they dont mean to make things worse..just a thought ohoh some might say when I start thinking its dangerous LOL.. I can imagine you have had some wonderful moments..I saw on the Tv sorry cant remember the name of the person but started a place for younger people a club he wanted to give them a place to come to to build up self esteem..they dont have much money..is there anywhere like that..you could give time to an hour...

I sort have this idea in my head because I came across some teenagers and they had problems anger issues ..but got talking to them alot of adults think teenagers are a waste of space..but they were angry because they feel they are not listened to..they then get frustrated and lash out

I really dont know plus i dont trust myself enough anymore to allow someone else to place trust in me to be ther to help ANYONE because i KNOW the minute that i start to feel horrible again i'll bail on it.

so indeed you and I must of pulled some stunt in our previous life LOL..must of been good..things are for reasons trapped in a nightmare mmm somehow we have to find the key to pick the lock of getting out of hell..

Never heard of anyone escaping the devils grasp before

LOL ..oh oh we didnt dont say we pulled a stunt on the devil himself ..one peed dude ROFLOL..well theres a first in escaping where theres a will theres a way ..LOL wheres a magician and lockpicker when you need one

Ahh jokey i enjoy your sense of humour its very close to my own and i appreciate that fact. Lately it feels like my previous life was one of a Gangous Kahn of sorts he CAUSED hell and my current LIFE is HELL