Alcohol Recovery Without 12 Steps Community Group
This group was created to explore various recovery paths for Alcoholism. We generally chose to explore paths outside of the AA model, or ones which incorporate, but are not limited to AA. Anyone wanting to learn and explore how to become free from alcohol addiction are welcome. Our main goal is to support each other with compassion and decency, while remaining open minded...
Hi everyone, I just joined this site tonight. I am in distress, and have been in a lot of pain too. That's because I read 'The Orange Papers', and the author says that Bill Wilson, the co founder of AA, was preying sexually on younger, female newcomers.
This has gutted me. I've been going to AA on and off for nearly 30 years. (currently 5 years sober). I've FOLLOWED what this Bill Wilson has said. He wrote the 12 steps, he wrote stuff in the Big Book, he was all about a spiritual life! It's all a crock, if he really preyed on these younger newcomers.
I am triggered especially because it happened to me. When I was 26, I really felt like drinking one time. So I went to my trusted drug and alcohol counselor for help. He was a sober AA member. He makes a pass at me. I couldn't leave, as I felt accepted and wanted. we stayed involved a while, with me breaking down. Finally, after he left my life, I went on a 6 week bender, planning never to try and recover again.
I did a few AA meetings on the weekend, out of habit, and fear of what will happen if I stop. But I'm in a state of turmoil. I want there to be an alternative to AA. I've gotten a lot of help from concepts like 'handing over' and 'surrender', to, for me, the universe. I don't KNOW what I hand over to, I just know it works.
I'm also tired of the dogma I hear at meetings, like 'can't get away from meetings or you'll drink' and 'do the steps! do the steps!!'
Anyway, I still feel pain in my heart. Right now, I don't want to do meetings.
This has gutted me. I've been going to AA on and off for nearly 30 years. (currently 5 years sober). I've FOLLOWED what this Bill Wilson has said. He wrote the 12 steps, he wrote stuff in the Big Book, he was all about a spiritual life! It's all a crock, if he really preyed on these younger newcomers.
I am triggered especially because it happened to me. When I was 26, I really felt like drinking one time. So I went to my trusted drug and alcohol counselor for help. He was a sober AA member. He makes a pass at me. I couldn't leave, as I felt accepted and wanted. we stayed involved a while, with me breaking down. Finally, after he left my life, I went on a 6 week bender, planning never to try and recover again.
I did a few AA meetings on the weekend, out of habit, and fear of what will happen if I stop. But I'm in a state of turmoil. I want there to be an alternative to AA. I've gotten a lot of help from concepts like 'handing over' and 'surrender', to, for me, the universe. I don't KNOW what I hand over to, I just know it works.
I'm also tired of the dogma I hear at meetings, like 'can't get away from meetings or you'll drink' and 'do the steps! do the steps!!'
Anyway, I still feel pain in my heart. Right now, I don't want to do meetings.
If you don't want to do AA and this is a heartfelt thing having to do with the program-then by all means try another route. I do think though that if I was following, lets say, a feild of psychology and found out it's founder was seriously flawed in his personal life-I would take that into account but still judge the concepts seperate and how they hold up in my daily practice.
Again though-your call, and you are welcome to discuss this further! I totally get that this is disturbing btw-
There are F2F meetings and online meetings. I have a friend who has become active in it. I'm on the outskirts of it a bit, and I think it is an organization you might want to checkout.
http://womenforsobriety.org/beta2/
I don't know much about AA as I am not a member. But if you were in a situation where you were preyed on by an AA member, and someone who should have been helping you, not taking advantage of you, then you might be better off looking for alternatives. We open ourselves up when we explore the reasons for drinking and work to maintain sobriety. I think it helps to have a good level of trust in the program you use, and AA is not the only one out there.
My advice ... don't believe everything you read.
I'm very sorry to hear about your personal experiences with the alcohol & drugs counselor. Question: Did you report him? If not, I wonder how many other women he's taken advantage of. Just a thought.