Alcohol Recovery Without 12 Steps Community Group
This group was created to explore various recovery paths for Alcoholism. We generally chose to explore paths outside of the AA model, or ones which incorporate, but are not limited to AA. Anyone wanting to learn and explore how to become free from alcohol addiction are welcome. Our main goal is to support each other with compassion and decency, while remaining open minded...
Time spent attempting to change others affords little time for personal change.
We must be willing to change or we wouldn't be reading these words right now. However, being willing to change is often easier than doing it. One of the biggest changes most of us need to make is learning to let others be who they are, regardless of who we want them to be. Most of us think our lives would be far smoother and more productive if only other people lived up to our standards. How wrong we are!
It we could change others as we wish, we would live far less enlightened lives. In fact, we discover opportunities for personal development in our interactions with the men and women who frustrate us so. The irony is that we wish they'd change, but if they did, we wouldn't experience the growth we deserve.
I will enhance my growth today by letting others be who they are and working on myself.
We must be willing to change or we wouldn't be reading these words right now. However, being willing to change is often easier than doing it. One of the biggest changes most of us need to make is learning to let others be who they are, regardless of who we want them to be. Most of us think our lives would be far smoother and more productive if only other people lived up to our standards. How wrong we are!
It we could change others as we wish, we would live far less enlightened lives. In fact, we discover opportunities for personal development in our interactions with the men and women who frustrate us so. The irony is that we wish they'd change, but if they did, we wouldn't experience the growth we deserve.
I will enhance my growth today by letting others be who they are and working on myself.
My view just to much wasted energy, which brings me to the thought of putting my self of balance if and when I try to change someone else instead of me.
Without change there can be no growth..
I was totally overwhelmed just last week for my nephews, 2 of them. I was so concerned that they were not happy and i was gonna be there, show them, make them happy one way or another. All this did was tear me apart. Could have ruined my relationship with one's mother.
Thank Goodness for the girls in the Dual Diagnosis Alcoholism Forum really helped me with explaining boundaries. I was wasn't trusting in God enough to know they would be alright. I wanted to heal them, and by helping too much with them, i got myself physically and mentally in a real bad mental state.
If it weren't for the Dual Diagnosis group, i wouldn't have come out of it. They explained what the Serenity Prayer meant, literally, for my situation with them. It was explained so well that i was able to totally give up control and leave it in God's hand. I was an absolute mess and no one else helped, including my therapist. But these girls did. I thank God for that. I am back in my life again!!!
Eventually we learn to act like adults and notice that we have to control our own behavior and let others worry about theirs.
I have found in my relationship with my hubbie and others that if I change, their responses to me also do as a nice benefit. Being more Christ-like in areas of compassion, love, grace, forgiveness brings about a joy and peace that surpasses understanding and lends us free to love and love is what matters most. Love covers the ugly, the imperfect, the sin, the necessity to be in control. It's definitely freeing and relationships have a chance to go on a deeper level whereby we desire to be. Change just happens without us doing a thing - perhaps not immediately, but when we judge ourselves with the same measure we use to judge others, that pointed finger seems to stop pointing. That's what I've found (then I also found when we want to make a judgement about others with a critical spirit ..another thing I am working on...I find the same thing fall in my lap at some point!) EWE. So, simply love and treat others the way you want to be treated...that works everytime and the yoke is light.
That's a big step my friend.