Alcohol Recovery Without 12 Steps Community Group
This group was created to explore various recovery paths for Alcoholism. We generally chose to explore paths outside of the AA model, or ones which incorporate, but are not limited to AA. Anyone wanting to learn and explore how to become free from alcohol addiction are welcome. Our main goal is to support each other with compassion and decency, while remaining open minded...
In every conflict, ask, "Would I rather be peaceful or right?"
The choice to be peaceful rather than right doesn't actually mean our opinions are unimportant. In fact, our particular opinions may make more sense in the larger scheme of things. Letting go of the battle is certainly far more sensible than the folly of expecting to change another person's mind. I credit Al-Anon with strengthening this resolve in me. The power of detachment, the willingness to choose to be peaceful rather than make every conversation a battleground, is freedom at its very best. There is no mystery in how this is done. It's a decision any one of us can make as often as the opportunity to disagree comes up.
We don't really even have to hope for a more peaceful life. It's ours just as quickly as we make the choice to want something different in our daily interactions. Remember, those who come forth provide us with opportunities for practicing peace.
The choice to be peaceful rather than right doesn't actually mean our opinions are unimportant. In fact, our particular opinions may make more sense in the larger scheme of things. Letting go of the battle is certainly far more sensible than the folly of expecting to change another person's mind. I credit Al-Anon with strengthening this resolve in me. The power of detachment, the willingness to choose to be peaceful rather than make every conversation a battleground, is freedom at its very best. There is no mystery in how this is done. It's a decision any one of us can make as often as the opportunity to disagree comes up.
We don't really even have to hope for a more peaceful life. It's ours just as quickly as we make the choice to want something different in our daily interactions. Remember, those who come forth provide us with opportunities for practicing peace.
Other times, like when arguing a particular shade of blue-it may be best to walk away and choose peace.
There's a difference between arguing over something you beleive is right and arguing just to be right. That peacefulness inside reminds us to stop and consider before attack or retreat.
gjm - I agree with Compost, sometimes you have to fight for what you believe is right...."pick your battles". I've been practicing this for quite some time. Turns I don't have that many battles that require an argument. Or maybe, I just stopped listening altogether...lol. Im so confused.
Pick your battles indeed. I was just driving and this fella in an escalade literally tried to run me off the road because I was driving the speed limit OH NO!!! to slow........-then opened his window and was screaming something at me. THe old marie would have flipped him off with a smile, gotten in front of him, and drove even slower......... Probably would have tried to kill me again but hey-no one does that to me!!! The old me atleast.
Alas, I ignored this freak of a miserable human and did not acknowledge him. So grown up of me, eh?
There is no correct battle for me if I am fired up with emotion. I just can't do it anymore. If I can be peaceful, I already know I'm right, and then who cares what the other thinks. Persuasion or nothing. I walk away. I don't need to win battles anymore... at least when I am in my right mind.
I still have trouble when it comes to protecting people I love. I turn into a fighter REAL fast in defense of my friends and family. Also, trouble with injustice, but my sobriety has to come first. Sometimes I just have to walk away and leave the fight to someone else.