Alcohol Recovery Without 12 Steps Community Group

This group was created to explore various recovery paths for Alcoholism. We generally chose to explore paths outside of the AA model, or ones which incorporate, but are not limited to AA. Anyone wanting to learn and explore how to become free from alcohol addiction are welcome. Our main goal is to support each other with compassion and decency, while remaining open minded...

179 Members

3,185 Posts

0 Online

ElenaM 12/06/2008

For a few weeks I've been contemplating the idea of being powerless over alcohol. I do believe that I am powerless, but I also understand the argument that we do have the power of choice (i.e., whether or not to drink). Then I realized something - I DO have the power to chose, but that does not mean I have any power over alcohol. I thought of the analogy of a very bad marriage. Being with the person may be causing major problems in my life, but I do not have power over them. I have two choices: stay or leave. I have the power to make that choice. Of course, sometimes we want to still have that person in our lives, be friends, or whatever, but as soon as we do that we are inviting the problems back into our lives - we still have no power over them. Once we make that choice to leave, we may need support from others, we may need to learn new skills, change our environment, and may need some help and a solid plan. Otherwise we may be tempted to return. With alcohol, I can easily make the choice not to drink, I have done it many times! But I have never learned how to maintain that choice, I've bargained it away, hoping that maybe alcohol and I can "just be friends." But I have no power over alcohol, and alcohol hasn't changed. So inevitably the problems will return.

It's not a perfect analogy, as people are more dynamic and not exactly "addictions" (but could be). But it helps me think out it.

deleted_user 12/06/2008

I have very strong feelings about the powerless concept. I thank you for your post, it is helpful to me to hear other's views on the subject. I won't go into my view on the powerless concept here in depth but basically it runs along the same lines as you have posted. When you say in your post, "I do believe..." those three words, for me at least, are the key to solving the powerlessness debate.
Peace,
Gerard

deleted_user 12/06/2008

Elena you have hit a homerun in my park. I am empowered till I choose to drink and then I'm powerless when I do.WTG Hugs Randy

deleted_user 12/06/2008

You can chose the road, but you can't pick the place where it leads you.

lennie61 12/06/2008

I agree with hatman I also am empowered as long as I don't touch that first drink.

deleted_user 12/06/2008

the simplest def of being powerless in step one is this the 2 questions my sponsor asked me when i was new. every alcoholic i have ever asked them to always answers the same way. question 1 when you start to drink can u predict with any certainty when you will stop yes or no. MY exp was a resounding no. I might be able to do it every once in awhile but most of the time no. then second question is when i stopped drinking, quit could i predict with any certainty when I will start drinking again yes or no? For me the answer also was a resounding No. I had stopped for good numerous times but on my own I always started drinking again. what my sponsor said that means acording to the BB is I was powerless over starting and powerless over stopping. It did not matter wether i was startin or stoppin the constant for both places was a state of powerlessness. then he asked me did I have solution that would work to solve that. I said no thats why i am here.

ElenaM 12/06/2008

Thanks Phil, that makes a lot of sense to me as well. Cunning, baffling, powerful, three words that really resonate with me. I should also say this - I have the power of choice, but I don't always have the power to think clearly on my own. I could make a conscious choice to drink tomorrow and have every "reason" to justify it.

deleted_user 12/06/2008

For me, I picture the bottle of alcohol (oversized, for good measure) and me in my head. It has no life, no abilities, it can't do anything unless I act on it. It's inanimate. To my logical way of thinking, that 'thing' can't really have power over me. That visualization helps me remember who's in charge here.

As HatMan said though, after one none of this applies. Once it's an open bottle in front of me, my power of this 'thing' declines.

nodp2day 12/06/2008

I know this is a repost but it's what I believe.

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (and drugs) and our lives had become unmanageable.... I can't help but read this in the past tense. Today I have power over A & D, (I am recovered from the horror of active addiction) up to the point I ingest it. That is when the "allergy" kicks in and I want more and begin to lose. Up to that point I HAVE the power to say no.
Today I recognize I am powerless over people, places things and situations and when I try to exert "power" (control, manipulation, etc.) I find myself frustrated, angry and can cop a resentment that will ruin the rest of my day (if not longer) and get in the way of maintaining my other relationships in a healthy manner. My EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY is out the window. I find myself taking my frustration out on those around me AND I BEGIN TO LOSE.
I must be aware of the desire to allow my selfish selfcentered (human being) prideful self to win in order to feel good. I must continuously admit that I am not the center of the universe and I have no right to attempt to make you into my image.

deleted_user 12/07/2008

someone showed me that there is a hyphen in step one. they said look it up. in the english language it means "continuation of thought" I was then told my unmanagbilty refers to how alcohol manages my life for me once I becam alcoholic. that made perfect sense when that was added to my sponsors 2 question I posted above. I hope this helps. The unmanagabilty is a inside condition and not outside of me.

deleted_user 12/07/2008

I agree with Hatman and DogG, the bottle itself has no power over us, but I know when I get that fire in my belly I lose control. It sucks, maybe one day, when I am older, I will be able to control myself, but for now I think I need to abstain.

Join the Conversation