Alcohol Recovery Without 12 Steps Community Group
This group was created to explore various recovery paths for Alcoholism. We generally chose to explore paths outside of the AA model, or ones which incorporate, but are not limited to AA. Anyone wanting to learn and explore how to become free from alcohol addiction are welcome. Our main goal is to support each other with compassion and decency, while remaining open minded...
It’s not that we feel powerless over whether or not we can choose to use or not to use. The feeling of powerlessness comes from our inability to understand where our inner turmoil, pain and suffering is coming from. It is that pain that the self- preservation mode of our primal brain is programmed to combat. It seeks to end the suffering by whatever method is available without considering any kind of end game ramifications. It doesn’t care, it wants relief and it wants it now. Its job is to protect you from threats immediately. Like fight or flight it works on auto-pilot for survival.
The powerless feeling comes from not knowing what the fuck is up and why.
Now if you add to all of this, an attempt to tame the dysfunction by surrendering your will and it doesn’t work……..then what? An even greater feeling of powerlessness because now you have been conditioned to believe that the ONLY way that works, doesn’t work for you. What’s left? OBLIVION and sadly, sometimes…..WORSE.
The powerless feeling comes from not knowing what the fuck is up and why.
Now if you add to all of this, an attempt to tame the dysfunction by surrendering your will and it doesn’t work……..then what? An even greater feeling of powerlessness because now you have been conditioned to believe that the ONLY way that works, doesn’t work for you. What’s left? OBLIVION and sadly, sometimes…..WORSE.
No, it's always a CHOICE therefore you are NEVER powerless. I was talking about the powerless feeling that MANY people feel in terms of figuring out why they feel the way they do. In lieu of that frustration of not being able to figure it out, the temptation of doing something, anything, to alleviate those feelings, becomes very tempting.
I know you have said that for you personally, alcohol caused no issues whatsoever and it was as easy as making that choice to not drink, but that's not the case for most who find themselves at the point where they know it's being used for all the wrong reasons.
I mean at the end of the day, it's not rocket science and it is as simple as not pouring the booze down your throat. While the mechanics of that are easy, everything else that goes into that decision, not so much.
I agree that the solution -- don't pick up a drink -- is simple. But for most of us, it isn't easy. What I have said, is that for me, making the decision to quit -- that commitment -- was the first and most important step I had to take to get there.
That's where I'm powerless on my own. I needed the support of AA and a sponsor to get me to a point where I could make that critical decision to stop --- and then stay stopped. Otherwise I'd stop, start, stop, start and on and on.
The decision to quit was a very important decision; as was recognizing that my way wasnt working and that I was indeed powerless over alcohol. With that I was able to move on...and with AA I was able to find a power greater than myself and that's what keeps me sober today.
I would add that alcohol/drugs do not have a personality. Often it is anthropomorphized with statements such as: we must remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, and powerful. When the exact opposite is true. We can deceive ourselves or we can choose not to deceive ourselves about our relationship with alcohol.
In my case there were points and may still come a time when the fight or flight response will lead me to AA as a social, safe, and supportive network. Sometimes the answer comes from there at others after a point in time I get the fight or flight response from AA. Self awareness and the understanding that my turmoil is temporary tends to bring me back to a better understanding. Further, the understanding that I will never be completely whole, only growing. I too tend to take a bit more cognitive approach to my sobriety.
Wild horses or charging rhino's could never cause me to take flight to an AA meeting ever again.