I have a suggestion. I like option 2, to go but not drink.

Go, but in your purse have several bottles of water. Before you go, say to yourself, "I believe that for this day only, I am going in the guise of a researcher, to see the effects wine has on other people. I will only drink water, so that I can see things from a sober point of view." When you assume a role like that, you have a new motivation. It's like playing a part in a play. And that helps you abstain. Also, as you see, first hand, the changes in other people's behavior while they are drinking, you will notice things you never noticed before. If you view it as an impartial science project you will, for that day, be forced in your own mind to abstain. This, I believe, will aid you in your recovery. If people ask you to take a drink, you can simply say that for today, you prefer water. And observe their reactions. Each person you tell that to, will probably react differently. I think it could be a fun project. Also, confide in your friend and tell her in advance to be your support and not let anyone try to force a drink on you.

I think Iamnot has got it right if you think you can do it - could you also be the designated driver? being helpful wanting to make sure your friend has a good day etc. If you dont think you can hack it as we say in the UK dont go!

Hi Elena We have a fellow in AA here whose family owns a winery in the Hill country. He goes to wine tastings all the time and he tells us that the winerys have the best grape juice in the world . Get the itenerary and e-mail the winerys ahead of time and let them know you do not imbibe and they will accomadate you as a valued gift buyer in the future. I buy my friends who don't have a drinking problem champagne or a nice Texas wine when the occasion is apropo. Alan is right be the designated driver and be of service to your friends. Hope this helps you. Hugs Randy

Man, thats probably the closest thing to hell for an alcoholic. The designated driver suggestion is great, hope it works.
Hat Man, Is Texas wine code for Lone Star beer?

Thanks! Actually we are getting a limo so I can't be the driver. I like the idea of being the "field researcher." I got a sense of that at my friend's birthday dinner. Also, I never thought about grape juice, what a great idea! I think there are lots of opportunities to be creative here. :-)

If you really want to go, go with the second option and just enjoy the fun without the alcohol, it will take an awful lot of will power but imagine how you will feel if you have been able to do it.

just tell them you are going to be the chaperone, and take care of them all.

But if the arrangements have not all ready been made can an alternative, such as a meal and caberet or something along those lines where it would not be so obvious you are the only one not drinking be arranged

It sounds as if she really wants you to be there so if you explain maybe something different can be arranged which would be just as much fun.

That was great advice, Gerard (iamnotagambler)!

Do you think you'll be able to do it, Elena?

I was thinking the same thing about some kind of non alcoholic wine (duh, grape juice) I figured they'd have to have something. I'm sure you're not the first non drinker to go wine tasting with friends.

Probably a good idea, like he said, to call ahead to make them aware. Then their won't be such a big deal made over it, maybe.

You're gonna have to be really strong. I will be pulling for you.

Of course, let us know how it goes.

I love the wine tasting trips. Ahhh. I don't know at this point in my life that I could go and not give in. I wish you luck. It's certainly a challenge and it would be rotten for you to miss this memorable occasion with the girls!

No sir, code for lone star beer is septic tank pumpings. I myself was a Miller High Life and Natural lite drinker. Actualy Texas has a lot of realy good wines , when I drank I especialy liked the Granite Blush Made in Llano County. I may not drink but I'm still proud of acheivements made in Texas. It's not the booze it's the boozer

Yeah luckily it's more than seven months away so I am hoping it will give me time to understand what I need and what tools I can use to stay sober. It just feels awful right now since I am fairly new to the sober life (and I haven't told this friend yet, maybe eventually I will). When I got the email I was like... a day of wine tasting? Of ALL things? Are you friggin serious? I mean, I would almost rather go bar hopping and have fun dancing and drinking soda. But I know, I can't change the world around me, I must take responsibility for myself.

The key to the whole thing is simple yet hard. When the time comes be HONEST with yourself. Ask yourself... am I going because I really want to drink. am I going to gain some vicarious pleasure from attending? Or this... what can I as a recovering individual bring TO this time with my friends. Where am I in my recovery? Am I on good solid ground?

Have you ever seen the movie "sideways"? The guy goes on a wine tasting trip and ends up guzzling out of the spit-out jug....funny but sadly what I would probably do.

I think I would not go to this, way to risky. Being around a bunch of friends getting tipsy and being silly-would seem so fun and normal to me I would CONVINCE myself I could do it. I then would be at the end guzzling the big jar of spit out wine.

Wow that is like the ultimate shit choice for somebody trying to quit drinking to go. I would try like hell to be a DD, that grape juice idea is also great (too much will cause stomach problems though!) In 7 months you may have made a TON of progress though, perhaps to the point where you will no longer be apprehensive about it, and maybe even confident.