Hi risin welcome to DS Interesting you've chosen this sub board A R without 12 steps Thats fine Thats why this sub board is here I believe There are many folks some I have known to be sober for a good few years who contribute very helpfully on this board I'm sure you'll hear from some of them soon However Some of your back story on staying sober for 2 years has eliments of AA stuff in there "one day at a time" "praying" "talking with others" "not picking up that firat drink" did you attend AA in that time and if so did you stop for some reason or were these more personel tools that you developed Did you get lazy re your recovery maybe got back into old lifesyles
wishing you all the best in this journey of recovery

Thanks, Rivalino.

Yeah, I've done the AA path in the past. I did learn a lot of tools along the way. The program does make a lot of sense to me and I believe it does work. But I do believe that you can get sober without it. In my two years of sobriety, I did not attend one meeting. But I'm open to wherever my path to recovery leads me. I actually did attend a few faith-based meetings a couple months back and I did enjoy it and they did help. I plan on getting back to those next week.

You asked me if I got lazy in my recovery. I don't think that was it. I think I just forgot that alcohol kicks my butt and I cannot ever ever ever have a drink.

Last night my husband reminded me that I have to fill my life with the good things again to replace the bad habits. So that's the plan. I could not sleep last nite and had a lot of time to think. I'm getting off my butt starting today and I'm choosing to life b/c I do believe that my drinking will eventually lead me to death, no doubt in my mind. And another thing my husband said is, you obviously don't enjoy drinking, so stop. In the past I would have been upset with him for saying something like that, but he's right -- it really is that simple -- just don't drink. No matter what, just don't drink. A simple concept that will be difficult to do at times, but it is doable.

I look forward to the support here.

Thanks for letting me ramble!

Hi and thank you SO much for that post and the response post.
I can so relate to forgetting that I can't drink, and forgetting the reality of what it does to me. I stopped drinking several times for long periods of time and teach time I'd pick up that first drink I'd be amazed. No lightening striking me homeless or dead. Then I'd go a few days w/out a drink, then I'd try again. Within a few months I was back to a bottle of wine a night and feeling hopeless, sick and crazy.
I have now been sober a little over 2 years. I got sober in AA and love the program. I love the meetings too as I get a reminder every meeting on the realities of alcoholism. My reality.

Anyway, if it were as easy as "just stopping" --- then no one would relapse. Clearly it isnt. If AA isnt for you, for whatever reason, perhaps you can find support in talking to other alcholics in your community at the faith based meetings you mentioned? I've found that in person contact just invaluable.

Glad you are here.

Welcome. I hope you find what you need to help you stop. I didn't so much stop because of how bad it was then, but how bad I could see it becoming. I tried to put positive things in place of the negitive too. I drank so much herbal tea I could have floated to china. I knit, to keep my hands busy, and the children's and baby hospital got so many little hats and booties...I walked and I prayed and I just said NO, I don't drink...when offered, and I did not, for that one day.
You have done it before, you can do it again.Do whatever it takes, and make it a priority.

Thank you both for your responses. I appreciate them so much.

You're right, Sticky, the in person contact is invaluable. I need that. I don't have to do this alone. I will hit the faith-based meetings next week for sure. I know now I need to be reminded often of the reality of alcoholism. It ain't pretty. But I don't have to live this way anymore....and I'm choosing the road to recovery!