Alcohol Recovery Without 12 Steps Community Group
This group was created to explore various recovery paths for Alcoholism. We generally chose to explore paths outside of the AA model, or ones which incorporate, but are not limited to AA. Anyone wanting to learn and explore how to become free from alcohol addiction are welcome. Our main goal is to support each other with compassion and decency, while remaining open minded...
"The explanation that alcoholism was a disease
of a two fold nature,
an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind,
cleared up a number of puzzling questions for me.
The allergy we could do nothing about.
Somehow our bodies had reached the point
where we could no longer absorb alcohol in our systems.
The why is not important;
the fact is that one drink will set up a reaction in our system
which requires more;
that one drink was too much
and one hundred drinks were not enough."
of a two fold nature,
an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind,
cleared up a number of puzzling questions for me.
The allergy we could do nothing about.
Somehow our bodies had reached the point
where we could no longer absorb alcohol in our systems.
The why is not important;
the fact is that one drink will set up a reaction in our system
which requires more;
that one drink was too much
and one hundred drinks were not enough."
Not everyone accepts the disease model and accordingly deals with the problem of alcohol abuse in other ways. I believe that "alcoholism" is like other tendencies or talents we are born with and occurances as we grow older combine to make someone an alcoholic. Nature AND nuture, in other words.
This inborn tendency is the same process as someone born with musical talent. They have a natural ability, rhythm and passion for music. But unless they hone it with instruction and practice the inborn talent goes nowhere. Someone without musical talent can learn to play an instrument but can never reach greatness because they lack that innate advantage.
Obviously, being good at abusing alcohol is not something one "hopes to be when they grow up" but it seems to me that one learns to drink and practices it nonetheless. The person with the inborn sensitivity to alcohol (which includes physical and psychological tendencies) becomes the problem drinker and the person without that innate thing may overindulge now and then but doesn't become an alcoholic.
Since this is a non12 group, I thought I'd put in my plug for working out your alcohol problem in a way that best suits you individually.
With self reflection you work to figure out why you're doing what you're doing. This helps you formulate a plan to change what you are doing.
The 12 step program is a great program and can be a great help for those who work it but I think that it only treats part of the problem. I believe that the physical side of the diease/problem needs to be dealt with also and that unless that is taken care of then we are more at risk for relaspe. The problem is that it is hard to find any solutions for the physical side of alcoholism. There is a lot of information out there for someone who is willing to do the reasearch but it's kind of a daunting task.
After my slip I realized that it was time to get back to work and get focused on my soberity. I had let my marriage problems get in the way and looking back I see that I had really stopped doing anything to stay sober. The program I had come up with before was constantly changing depending on what I had been reading about at the time and even though I would come on here and post like I was confident that what I was doing was right I still felt that there was something missing in what I was doing.
It was time for me to try and put the pieces together and put a program together that would deal with all the aspects of alcoholism, start working the program and stick with it to see what happens. That's what I did and I'm finishing up my first week. I'm going to give it some time to see how it is working for me before I start posting about it but so far so good. I can already feel a change in my emotions and outlook on life.
I am with you folks who are at the point internally of not really knowing or being overly concerned about what it is called, or where it came from. For me, it is what it is-and I cannot put booze in my system ever again. I will do whatever it takes-any re-arranging of my life, diet, excersize, etc. that will help me stay away from booze.
The obsession is just that. It is not alcoholism. Regarding alcohol, if we cannot LET GO of the OPTION to drink then of course we will obsess about it, just like we might obsess about sugar or "soul food" or mind altering drugs or anything that relieves an uncomfortable feeling in us. Our "Decision" to stop has not REALLY been made. Who wants to let go of something we imagine to comfort us. If I was stranded on a deserted island with no hope of being rescued I don't believe I would obsess about drinking. It wouldn't be an option. Or if I experienced anaphylactic shock every time I consumed alcohol, I would more readily LET IT GO as an option I think.
The effects of alcohol on our minds and bodies is not decisive enough to remove the option from our minds. We weigh the pros and cons. We convince ourselves one more time will be okay. We convince ourselves that what happened last time won't happen again. We tell ourselves we can handle being depressed and detox one more time for one more day of "relief". WHY do we hold onto the option? We do so because we remember it making us feel good or okay or normal. The PHYSICAL effect it had on our bodies was SO pleasing, even if only in the beginning of our drinking career, that we wish to feel it again and convince ourselves that we MIGHT just THIS time again.
It's hard to make a commitment to sobriety. WHAT IF? It is complex. Mindfuck. Takes a psychic shift that, imo, is DOABLE without an understanding of God. The "higher power" can come from within. These are revelations, epiphanies, "quantum changes" that happen every day for people. I have experienced these core level shifts myself in other areas of my life, sudden realizations, eureka moments where everything suddenly makes sense as thought shined upon by a different light. I think AA calls these things miracles and spiritual experiences and I believe that they are.
So, I think the obsession is a psychological symptom of having experienced booze to the degree that we alcoholics did. But once that obsession is gone, so then is the problem as long as we understand the physical effect we experience as being as being an uncontrollable aspect of our illness. We lose the obsession and, in doing so, accept that we can never drink again, NOT today, NOT tomorrow, NOT ever.
I understand how the obsession can and must be removed - I am just not THERE yet. I AM getting stronger in resisting and knowing that the urge passes if I let it. A year ago, I never would have survived some of the nights I have experienced since getting sober nearly 5 mos ago.
Just throwing my thoughts out there. I am open to feedback and other opinions. I am not so arrogant to think I really understand all this that well. I am a work in progress.
Do my thoughts and my experience with the mental obsession mean I am not an alcoholic?
I don't understand the term "disease" being used I guess. Are other tendencies like OCD considered a disease? I also have a extreme "tendency" to need exercise. If I don't get exercise regularly and extensively, feel insane - Without exercise I also feel a greater obsession to drink. When I was a kid I self medicated via exercise - It made me feel okay and normal. Wasn't until later on when I cut back on exercise that my drinking really took off. Is my need for exercise part of my "alcohol disease"? or is it maybe just another physical manifestation of some anxiety that I felt either or both through nature or nurture?
Sorry for rambling - I have kept mouth shut on these topics as I think it distract from the problem. I don't like to debate on the main board when there are people needing to focus on the solution. For my recovery I don't think it matters what other people call it. Again just throwing my thoughts out there.
" http://www.faslink.org/Alcoholism--Defined%20&%20Explained.htm "
It seems links don't work very well in the subgroups. If it doesn't work to click, I just googled this and grabbed the first article... "The explanation that alcoholism was a disease of a two fold nature"