Awww, I'm sorry you feel that way Deb. I don't have that problem, and I can't really say that I did in the beginning either, but I can imagine it is frustrating. Hopefully this will go away as time goes on, Deb.

Try to look at it the other way -- instead of eff it, I might as will drink -- How about, I'll show them, dammit, just how long I CAN stay sober! I know it must suck to feel like people are watching your every move. Have you tried talking to your daughter and telling her this way of acting is NOT helping you - that you need her support and that you're working hard to win back her (their) trust?

Hang in there, Deb! Don't let this be your downfall.

I'm sorry deb, my husband I know occasionally does but I can't blame him. I just stay sober and eventually they will all accept that I am and will be. You have to want to be sober for yourself FIRST, thats what will keep you from drinking. GL

Maybe this is a good time to remind yourself that you are staying sober for yourself - not to impress anyone else. It might be hard for people to trust you at first because of what they've seen in the past, but eventually they will realize you are serious about sobriety when they see that you're still sober next year and the year after that. Time takes its own time. And no, I don't really think I've had someone give me the cold shoulder like that.

Yeah-lots of family did that, not so much anymore. But I really could not blame them-I had burned them so many times they had a right to keep their guard up. One brother has never forgiven me and still thinks I am a screw up. You know what? He has that right-I was a drunk and screwed people bad, they should be weary and even unable to forgive me. I will go on, as I have no choice other than to stay sober and do my best.

Yes they do and yes they will. You have to remember that you spent a lot of time getting yourself to the point of wanting to get sober. You probably said more than a few times you quit only to fall back in to it. They have been hurt to many times and are skeptical to say the least. The expect you (unconsciously or consciously) to fall again. It will take time for them to see the changes. Your words mean nothing (little boy who cried wolf) only your behavior will convince them. You can go ahead and drink but that would only prove them right. It's time to prove YOU right.

proof is in the puddin, keep makin good puddin, they can't help but be won over with good history behind you.

They sure do Deb. Mine lived through dozens of my good intentions, broken promises and stuff ups. They wanted to believe all was well, but I had to prove it, one day at a time. The family is tired and scared that you'll drop the ball again. Be patient with yourself and those around you. There's no overnight fix for this. Give yourself and them time to adjust. Stay sober, you need to do this for you. In time, your family will see the change, see that your committed to sobriety. CM xxx

Deb- I woould be surprised if they didn't question it or look for signs. When I used to tell my wife I was done drinking "for good", her response was "yeah right" or "I'll believe it when I see it". Can I blame her? No, she had heard it many times.

Remember Deb, the distrust you feel from your friends and family is usually proportional to the way they felt let down by your drinking. But, as others are telling you. It takes time to rebuild trust so be patient. You can rebuild that trust in time.

I was also thinking that we were so drunk most of the time (me at least) I had no REAL concept of the damage inflicted. I remember thinking I was a functional-even fun to be around, drunk. What is wrong-these people did not like me? I was hurtful? I don't remember this.....

Hey Ms.Deb,
You must be newly or recently sober to your family. Typical behavior from people who CARE and maybe have been hurt by alcohol induced behavior. You can't control what other people think or feel. Just let them work threw it in thier own way & continue on your happy path. Your doing well, you sound like you feel good. Try not to much to impress their thinking, just you my friend, are being the best you today and well that is good enough! Healing takes time. I tell you what, no one checks me, or suspects me of anything anymore, hell half my friends drink around me too. One day , it will be in the past, until then be kind to yourself & don't worry. Time dose heal. Best to you & yours-----sunny

I used to think that I had to prove myself to others when it came to my sobriety. When I make up my mind its REALLY made up. I'm not going back. I'm done. I'm big supporting local musicians here & enjoy live music which is typically where? A bar. Yeppers. I go. I did in the beginning & I go now. Some have dropped negative remarks like "why put yourself in that situation?" Its MY choice. Just like sobriety is MY choice. We all have them. I used to get "what's in the cup & initially was offended, annoyed & even more pissed to think that here I am busting my rear to remain sober & because I'm sipping some fruit juice concoction or water in a cup that is the same color as the others I MUST be drinking. Know how I fixed that/them? I'd not respond verbally I'd give them the cup and let them try it. That shut them up & heck some even liked the concoctions I come up with. Now days I could care less what others think. I'm NOT sober for THEM. I'm SOBER FOR ME! I have NOTHING to prove to anyone except ME. Of course it hurts deep inside. Just don't let them have that control. Some have trust issues within themselves. While others we've out through hell & back have doubts because of the seeds we've planted. Chin up.