Hi Sumi. Just for today, I won't drink. And I havn't since the first day I made the decision not to. No, it's not required. It's not right or wrong, just a fact that it happens. If it does, you can rejoin sobriety and learn from it.

Relapse awareness is a part of my recovery though. I did some cognitive behavioural therapy that helps me identify patterns in my behaviour, which if I ignore and do not make changes to, could send me to relapse.
Relapse is a real possibility, but it dosn't have to happen. Self-awareness and prevention yeah. CM xxx

thanks, to you both....one, for posting the question, and two, for suggesting CBT which I will ask my T about TODAY when I see her.......was wondering about all this.....I went one week, and on the 8th day, drank for 12 hours .....and didn't want to. Trying to start over. thanks again, from, "Fire"

Not for me they aren't! I really think it's "said" so people don't give up IF they do relapse. Not that everyone necessarily will.

Its just that if I 'fear' that I will relapse, then I might. Why not take the fear out of your mind. Just be positive and think that you will not relapse ....not today, not ever - whatever the circumstances might me. Why focus on the problem and make such a big thing about it. Instead I focus on the solution and that's simple - don't drink. Remember our thought process controls our actions.

Hi Sumi,
I've always felt it was dangerous "to count" days sober. If each day is truly a new begining then it is what you do in that day. If each day is to be lived in it's fullest then why must I "count " days past where I was less then what I wanted to be...( unless I just wanted to be mean to myself) In response to the origianl question, are slips or relaspes necessary? No not so much necessary, but I think holding yourself up to all or nothing, perfect or defective sets a Human being up for failure. How can anyone measure up? Dose this mean all past sober days or steps forward do not count because of a digression? I don't know. I think with soberity comes self knowledge and I think with the self knowledge of yourself you are able to not only accept who you are but also the imperfections of who you are as well. I think by doing so it circles back around and I don't drink because...yes I do know me. Perfect?..far from it, to think I can be sets me up for failure. But today, it's good , it's sweet, I'm so happy, so I can't wait to do it (sober) again tomorrow. I think there is no wrong way to live a sober life..wether it includes slips or not on that persons life, lifestyle, and choices. I try not to live my life as a countdown to totality but an adventure into knowing you and me and what is out there for us to be open to explore, one less drink at a time...real time. Nice topic, thank-you for letting me share.

Thanks 4AAsunny, lovely advice from you.

AA always scared me with that too......and then it happened to me after a year of wondering "if i was doing the steps right" i have taken the committment to my self not to drink......it was no fun......sick...puking....... we all know it......i don't count any days anymore, or think i need to celebrate each mile stone. For me each day gives me the opportunity, and in each day my goals for the future are more clear and definately easier to attain, without the thought or abuse of alcohol......... thanks for letting me share,,,,,i have been away from DS and now want to stay a part of this group.......thanks for you all being here to allow me to do that...

Sumi we are all different, yet we share a commonality. I have had 2 of my strongest friends relapse along with 6 other friends in the program. Of the 2 strong ones Joseph let his past haunt him and he made his own guilt trip and used it as an excuse to drink and drug, Casey is on medication and is having a hard time of it with her husband, she is not making excuses, but is getting her head back on track , where Joseph isn't. Buster couldn't change his attitudes fast enough for his wife, she had put up with his crap for a long time, and even though he was sober he was still angry , sullen, and self centered, as he put it. He is trying to get his life back together for himself. I told him to take care of his own person and the rest of his life would fall into place. Shannon can't stay away from old friends ,pills and she say's she's angry at God, an excuse by any other name is still an excuse. I haven't talked to the other 4 but from what I understand they all feel guilt and remorse. Some are learning from this, some aren't. There is always a chance of relapse, you either obsess about it or get on with living. I worried that I wasn't having these feelings of temptation, but have since figured out that I'm ok not worrying about slipping. Gotta go family reunion is waiting and they have never seen me sober and serene, hope they take it as well as i am. Talk to you all later. Hugs Randy

I've relapsed enough times myself. That was mostly because I was not really ready to quit drinking for good. But once I decided to get serious, I was able to stay sober for years. I don't care to count my sober time any more than I care to count the days and years that have gone by after having gotten out of a bad relationship. My bout with alcohol was one of those bad relationships that I don't want to dwell on.

I complete one year today. I think that from tomorrow I will stop counting, it does not matter any more.
Thanks to you all for your support!

As long as you do not get complacent in your sobriety and remember not to take that first drink you'll do ok

You never have to take that first drink unless someone breaks into your home, ties you to a chair and pours a bottle of whiskey down your throat. So keep the doors locked.

nondrinker
'You never have to take that first drink unless someone breaks into your home, ties you to a chair and pours a bottle of whiskey down your throat. So keep the doors locked. '
I agree with you completely. Its something that is in my control.

Everyone is different, so they will often get sober in different ways. The ideal is to put down the bottle and never drink again, but some people have to make several more mistakes before they figure things out.

And what if you do slip? If so, it's important to get right back up and work towards healty sobriety again. No crying in your beer (so to speak).