Alcohol Recovery Without 12 Steps Community Group

This group was created to explore various recovery paths for Alcoholism. We generally chose to explore paths outside of the AA model, or ones which incorporate, but are not limited to AA. Anyone wanting to learn and explore how to become free from alcohol addiction are welcome. Our main goal is to support each other with compassion and decency, while remaining open minded...

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ElenaM 11/19/2008

I almost bought a bottle of wine today. I know how to resist drinking when I am feeling down, the problem is I have a harder time resisting when I am feeling good. Does that make sense? It's like I forget that I have a problem, feel confident that I can keep myself under control, and really, what's the big deal?

That's the most powerful seduction of addiction for me, the illusion of control, the illusion that it will be OK. I did go to an AA meeting (not following the steps, but go occasionally for support... nice group and basically convenient). I have to say what is great about meetings - really any support group format, is seeing people 20 years older than me with 10-20 years of sobriety, who had hit very low bottoms, nodding knowingly as I tell my story. I share that because as much as I love this site it's no substitute for live human support.

I'm very grateful that the only thing I drank tonight was some cranberry juice and a cup of tea. :-)

deleted_user 11/19/2008

Good on you ElenaM thats awesome you didnt drink wahoo
they say them out there that each time you say no it gets easier and easier yeah
i came back from a tramp so high on life and then i saw my ex lover and it all came crashing down so for me its about loneliness and this site keeps me company and keeps me safe from drinking
For me the formatt of AA meetings just makes me feel worse people go over and over their problem aue its not good for me
good for you I see
and thats awesome but this site is a substitute for me and a life saver beleive me

lennie61 11/19/2008

Well done for not buying that bottle of wine hope your really proud of yourself.

I stopped drinking for a year and like you was feeling good and thought I had it under control and could have a drink, guess what happened? I went on a week bender and was back to day one again, when I got complacent that's when the demon thought got her!!! lol

Now when I think I can have just the one drink I make it a cup of tea. lol

Very well done, feel happy and proud

deleted_user 11/19/2008

Hi Elena I used to drink when it was a bad day and I would drink cause it was a good day. It is tough to be strong , but it will get easier as time goes on. I go to AA also and the sharing there lets me know that I am not alone in how I feel and that I can get through this too. Keep up the good fight. Hugs Randy

deleted_user 11/19/2008

I know EXACTLY what you mean. It's crazy how easy it is to forget why you've stopped once you get a little time under your belt and are really feeling good -- I mean that is the goal of stopping right?! It almost like you feel like you acheived the goal (feeling good) and then tell yourself you've "taken care of the problem" -- it is a farse for us. The problem occurs when we drink -- period. That is why I am journaling like crazy while I still feel like crap LOL. I will make myself look back on my embarrassing journals when I start feeling good again. GREAT JOB ON OVERCOMING THE URGE!!! I hope you are feeling really proud today.

JanMichelle2002 11/19/2008

Yay! Good for you! I'm proud of you, I hope you are too.

Thanks for posting - it made perfect sense to me!

Wow, and you got up and told your story at a meeting - that's awesome! I just knew AA couldn't be as bad as they make it sound on the main board. Been to about 10 meetings probably - in my lifetime. I wish I would've found one where I felt comfortable enough to go back a second time - let alone share. Maybe some day I'll start looking again for a meeting where I "fit in".

Big Congrats, Elena!

deleted_user 11/19/2008

Welcome back JanMichelle.. And way to go ElenaM.. A great defeat... I hated when I would have those feelings, of almost/wanting to drink, but the end result of NOT, was so gratifying.. That to me, is the beauty of Recovery.. It is a testament of my strength and willpower. I am doing it.. And you are too.. You rock..
Peace..

deleted_user 11/19/2008

Elena, good job. I was there yesterday too. Feeling good, felt like my new positive frame of mind would allow me to drink 'normally'. Glad we remained sane!

deleted_user 11/19/2008

Hi there. I have the same issue. Since getting this new job and feeling good about myself and having money, I want to stop at my favorite watering hole on the way home and I say well, I'll just have a soda but I know people will start buying drinks and uh oh. So I go right home. Good for us for being stronger than the urge. Congrats to you.

JanMichelle2002 11/19/2008

Good for you too, Kim (Jollyk1)!

Sorry I've been out of touch a few days. It feels good to feel good about yourself again, doesn't it?

deleted_user 11/19/2008

I agree, I have a MUCH harder time not buying it for the good times (the bad times are what Xanax is for...). It does not help everyone else drinks to celebrate either.

deleted_user 11/19/2008

I know exactly what you mean- I always want to drink when I feel good again. Funny thing is, I try to convince myself that "I'm normal" now. So how come a slip is always 8 beers? Normal people don't do that!

Good Job!

deleted_user 11/19/2008

Yep, and my rep as a party girl precedes me. I've avoided the social scene the last two weeks or so. I'm skerred about my first time out! So many times I've said I won't have anything then someone (oh, like the bartender for instance) asks if I want something and I say "just one" and we all know how that ends. Then again, I was still trying to control my drinking, limit it.

deleted_user 11/19/2008

I find it interesting to read these comments that indicates a craving to drink is stronger when feeling 'up' as opposed to 'down.'
It's been my personal experience and from talking to other gambling addicts that it was the reverse, the urges were strongest when you felt 'down,' not 'up.'
I never really thought about this before and wanted to thank you for making me aware of this difference.

deleted_user 11/19/2008

I guess the possible explanation is that gambling is an upper, a rush so to speak and alcohol is a depressant. So the addict seeks out that which will put him in the opposite mood of what he or she is in. To achieve a return to balance, maybe? Just speculating here, but that seems to make sense.

ElenaM 11/20/2008

Thanks everyone! Gosh, I got another craving today... but it was a little easier because now I think I am finally on to this addiction game. If I feel like that again, I will come back here!

Maliachi... I totally understand, I have a few "celebrations" coming up and I am totally fixated about how I will manage myself and not drink. I've already skipped one event for that reason, but I can't stay a hermit forever.

Also to clarify why I mentioned AA... I think I am lucky that I live in a progressive area and found an all-women's group that I can relate to. But I can't get on board with the steps, at least not as written. Step 1 I totally get. 4, 8, and 9 maybe. The rest, not so much.

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