As a side note, my ex wife is probably as bad a drinker as me, as well as having no problems abusing controlled substances. We have a little girl together, who turns 5 this week.

I need to be responsible. I need to be a parent. I cannot destroy my life, and hers with this drinking.

Hi - I'm new to this group, too. I just joined today. I can relate with with binge drinking and the wrecking of things. It just feels so dam good at the time that I keep doing it. Running my husband's car into a ditch is just an incidental.

Are you just going to stop cold turkey? I'm still confused about what I am going to do.

I am looking forward to being part of this group. Thanks for sharing part of your story. I am looking forward to hearing an update later on this week. Maybe you can fill us all in on how your daughter's birthday goes?

Take care and good luck.

Hi. I just posted my story on Miakrita's post...I was a binger as well. no dui's.
My son is an avid AA'er. It really worked for him. he goes less now, but probably will always go. I say thank God for it, for him. I don't go. I didn't raise him as me as a drunk. I know I got drunk one time when they were in middle school and I had some medication early in the morning, and a glass of wine at night...and they called their dad. One time. Genetically both my kids have a chance to be drunks. he is sober, she is fine....for now.

Yes, a little girl need stability, or she will grow up and be like mom or marry someone like dad...But, you have to want to do it for you. you alone...all the time. not just when she is around.

make it your first priority. change how you socialize if you have to...till you get used to being sober. have juices and water around, NO fake alcohol...start focusing on good things for yourself...I started walking, working out a bit, eating healthy...repairing some of the damage I did.

Welcome to you and Miakrita. hope you find some answers and can get healthy.

Hey! Welcome both of you to the group! Glad you found us. There's lot's of caring, supportive and nonjudgmental people here.

I was a big binge drinker myself ... almost 5 years ago! Also had some similar consequences. It takes some of us longer than others to "get it". I had 3 dui's, spent time in jail, wrecked several cars, lost a couple of jobs ... the list goes on ... before I finally got smart and made the best decision of my life. I have never picked up another drink since the day I made that decision.

You can do it too!!! Do you have a plan? I used SMART (Self-Management and Recovery Training) a ton in the early days online. Especially the tool box. http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/toolchest.htm

I checked out several AA meetings, too.

Drink lots of juice, water or gatorade.

Get some exercise. The more the better. Even if you don't feel like it ... take a walk!

I found keeping a journal helpful.

I stayed away from alcohol entirely for the first month or so. I didn't trust myself to be around it.

Any old hobbies you can ressurect?

I will "bump" a couple of topics to the top of the board for you both. One has reading recommendations and the other is some things other people are doing to stay sober. Check them out!

Again, welcome to the group. Ask any questions you have and share as much of your stories as you want. We're here to support you in any way we can.

Oh yeah ... and counseling! That was what initially led me to my decision to quit!

Welcome! It takes a ton of humility to share all of this and it is best (being open) for permanent healing. I will pray that you can break these cycles and emerge strong and sober and drug free... This road is not for weenies ....it's hard and obstacles are bound to come your way to try to divert you....but keep letting that precious child be your focus....she needs you. You will not be alone forever....take advantage of this time to work on yourself and become free and healthy so that you will attract someone free and healthy too :). Your future is a blank canvas...paint a masterpiece!

Thank you for all the welcomes and kind remarks. I hope that I have quit cold turkey. I don't believe I have a chemical dependency per se, but maybe a psychological one? Already laying in bed last night my mind was trying to make deals with me, go out and have 2 before going home. I am so angry this morning. Alcohol has done no good for me and it has now scared me with what it can do. I just pray I find new things to keep me busy before the fear fades.

Keeping thoughts of my daughter in the forefront certainly helps a lot.

I have been excercising more this last 6 months than I have in a decade. Even some times not going to bars in order to excercise (small victories). This is just the start of the new me.

Yay for you...you can be a NEW YOU. See what I mean by keeping the option to drink open? The mind is thinking about it trying to make those deals; don't deal with the devil :). He's a deceiver. If you think about it, alcohol is really an altering substance...learn to be you and love you and your grrrl just as you are. You won't have to worry about DUI's or anything like that anymore. :) FREEDOM each day. It DOES get easier.

Welcome. I love my children and would do anything for them. That said they didnt and couldnt keep me sober. I exercised daily when I drank, and I still do. Exercise couldnt keep me sober. Fear certainly didnt sober me up. When I was 23 a very good friend of mine left a party at my house, and killed a young father in a drunk driving accident. That didnt sober me up. I nearly killed myself in accidents, and certainly put myself in stupid situations for a woman......and that didnt sober me up.

Distractions couldnt keep me sober either...in fact if I distract myself from reality I'm more likely to be moving toward a drink.

I got sober, and stay sober today, because I have accepted to my core that I'm alcoholic. I've stopped fighting it. I hope that I will never doubt what would happen if I pick up a drink. I've been physically separated from alcohol and the most bat shit crazy thing I could ever do, I would have to do now...sober.

Well, I agree that when I was drinking, or considering drinking, thoughts of my career and my daughter were no where in my mind.

Excercise would in some ways make me want to go to bars more. That's a mindset I need to change. I haven't had to face that yet this week.

hmm interesting about the gym being a trigger. I agree on the mentality though -- it takes up way to much mind space in me to be healthy.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply on my post. So many professionals are affected by alcohol, especially in the business and legal sector where it seems to be the going rate to binge socially. But its never too late to start being an awesomer human. Good luck as you continue your first week.

Good luck to you too.

Part of me wonders if the binge thing started in my college years. Don't drink much for weeks, and then go out after mid-terms or something and just get blasted. That's basically what I still was doing. I mean I drank about once a week, but I really ran some huge benders once or twice a month.

And Fridays afternoon around here are always about where we are going for happy hour. Most people are sensable enough to stay for 2 or so. I should have learned from them.

Good luck to you, too. It sounds tough. With law school, there are so many people that I just plan on ducking into the shadows. But I imagine that with your job it would be tough to duck out. But you should!! At least til you have some perspective and confidence that you can abstain ...

I feel the same way about college, etc. I was crazy into substance abuse, including alcohol, in college. Then I took two years off and waited tables. I was definitely drinking all through that, too. And now in lawschool, its just like a continuation of all that madness.

And as for the people that just have 2 drinks, maybe there is nothing to learn from them. Maybe we actually do have a disease. My husband is the kind of person that has 2 drinks. I've talked with him about this over the past few days and he says that he just has no desire to be drunk. Unlike me (us?) he enjoys a light buzz.

Passed my first test. An evening in which I didn't have my child my best friend called and asked if I wanted to stop out, and that the bartender was asking about me since I hadn't been around. He basically knows what has happened to me, but not my thought process. I told him I gave up alcohol for Lent, and maybe forever. I said normally I would stop for a soda, but I wanted to work out too (I really did). He said he understood, and that nothing changes are friendship, and that we should have dinner and talk real soon.

Its good to have friends like this.

YES! I am so happy to read this! If you can do this, I can do it too. Yay for good friends for the gym and all that good stuff!

My real test is tomorrow night: I'm going out to celebrate a friend's birthday tomorrow night. My friend doesn't drink, but thats because she is Chinese and can't digest it. Everyone else drinks like silly. I'll plan on just saying that I'm going to drink to celebrate her birthday. Heeerrree wee goo!