ALANONNARCONON Community Group
Online meeting of ALANON-NARCONON featuring literature, support and discussion.
Warning: LONG RANT/VENT.
This is the hardest thing to write, because I am admitting that I need help. I am an only child, a daughter of an active alcoholic with whom I am currently living. I find myself enabling him in ways I never imagined. I move his car into the driveway every night because he might get into an accident doing it himself. He is 67; I am 29. I will be 30 in June and I feel quite desperate to detach with love, but I know that it takes time to do so.
My aunt, his sister, she refuses to help much if at all. If you think I'm enabling, she is worse. She offers him alcohol when we visit, when she knows fully that he has a problem, AND that he drives there! I talked to her today, and she said "You can speak to his doctor but as far as his doctor's concerned, he's fine. And he IS fine!" Then later I confronted her about the issue and she claimed she never alleged he was "fine." Whatever.
He has fallen 3 times that I know of in the past week and a half alone. It's all at night, that's when he does his drinking. But I don't know where to turn when my aunt won't acknowledge any of it? I'm all alone... and I'm scared.
My mother died when I was 17, and Dad's drinking either got WAY worse, OR I started to deal with it for the very first time. Luckily or unluckily I was at college for a few good years... I then was diagnosed Bipolar. Whatever type it is, I've had mania. I think that makes me "Bipolar type I" but I don't believe in labels.
So, my family all thinks I'm "nuts." They don't take a word I say literally or seriously. I don't know where to turn. My therapist says "Go to Al-Anon," and people say that like it will solve ALL my problems but I really need to know what else I can do. I try to get to meetings but I have extreme Social Anxiety... God I'm a wreck!
I know I SHOULD get to more meetings. What ELSE can I do though??? I'm literally getting worse and worse mentally and physically. I need more than a meeting... I need a miracle...
This is the hardest thing to write, because I am admitting that I need help. I am an only child, a daughter of an active alcoholic with whom I am currently living. I find myself enabling him in ways I never imagined. I move his car into the driveway every night because he might get into an accident doing it himself. He is 67; I am 29. I will be 30 in June and I feel quite desperate to detach with love, but I know that it takes time to do so.
My aunt, his sister, she refuses to help much if at all. If you think I'm enabling, she is worse. She offers him alcohol when we visit, when she knows fully that he has a problem, AND that he drives there! I talked to her today, and she said "You can speak to his doctor but as far as his doctor's concerned, he's fine. And he IS fine!" Then later I confronted her about the issue and she claimed she never alleged he was "fine." Whatever.
He has fallen 3 times that I know of in the past week and a half alone. It's all at night, that's when he does his drinking. But I don't know where to turn when my aunt won't acknowledge any of it? I'm all alone... and I'm scared.
My mother died when I was 17, and Dad's drinking either got WAY worse, OR I started to deal with it for the very first time. Luckily or unluckily I was at college for a few good years... I then was diagnosed Bipolar. Whatever type it is, I've had mania. I think that makes me "Bipolar type I" but I don't believe in labels.
So, my family all thinks I'm "nuts." They don't take a word I say literally or seriously. I don't know where to turn. My therapist says "Go to Al-Anon," and people say that like it will solve ALL my problems but I really need to know what else I can do. I try to get to meetings but I have extreme Social Anxiety... God I'm a wreck!
I know I SHOULD get to more meetings. What ELSE can I do though??? I'm literally getting worse and worse mentally and physically. I need more than a meeting... I need a miracle...
Both my parents were Alcoholics. My dad passed away in 1967 when I was 16 yrs. old. My parents were weekend drinkers. Then after my dad died then my mom started to drink everyday. I'm amazed that she lived to be 70 years old and she died in 1985. Both my brothers were Alcoholics. My oldest brother did stop drinking about 10 years before he passed away in 2005. My other brother is still drinking. He's almost 63 and I never thought he'd live this long. My sister died in 2004 and her and I didn't become Alcoholics. I'm on this Daily Strength site because of my son. He became addicted to Oxycontin....... You can read my profile for the whole story if you'd like. Anyway, I began going to NarAnon meetings shortly after my son was arrested. It has really helped me a lot. It's good to hear other peoples stories and realize that we are not alone.
I'm sorry to say but your dad is the one who has to decide to get help for his drinking. I personally think, in my brother's case, that he's drank all these years as he's felt a lot of guilt about different things that happened in his life and he didn't learn how to deal with his problems. That's just my opinion about alcoholics and also people who got addicted to drugs. I know that there is something in the alcoholic and drug addict's brains that makes them become addicted. Been trying to read as much as possible about addiction so I can understand why my son did what he did. People say that it was the "drug" that did the bad thing that got my son in so much trouble. I feel bad that you are going through this with your dad. I know you want to help him and I can understand why you are so stressed.
By the way our son is our only child. I hope things get better for you soon. If you have any questions or just want to talk - you can contact me. Take Care. Georgia