Just last monday, we did experience a crisis of sorts, and i actually didn't even get upset. We had to go to son's apt as they didn't have his rent (turns out they did), and his place was a mess including mj pipes of various sorts, and he's playing with poppy seeds again. He was belligerent and rude. He had previously been fairly sober and stable.
I don't know what to think of it all, but the point of it was I did not get upset. my husband did, who hasn't had as much benefit of AlAnon. Husband was very upset and didn't work (self-employed), but I slept normally and just didn't devote the personal energy I used to to such a situation.
I guess I really have learned that living my life is more important to me than sitting around biting my nails and obsessing over the addict.

This is proof that the Al Anon Program, the meetings and the literature can help.
Your last sentence says it all.

Things are neither better or worse than they were. I am grateful for all my friends in recovery though. Sort of posting this as a test.