Oh Tom, I go through the same thing ALL THE TIME!!! I simply CANNOT accept the fact that "The God of all COMPASSION" as Paul called Him could possibly purposely create someone, who never chose to be born, then never give them a chance to ever hear the gospel, and then cast them into eternal, painful Hell and call it their own fault. And we are supposed to just accept this because "God is God and His ways are higher than our ways?!?" I don't think so!

Then, on the other hand, if it were NOT the case that these people would go to Hell without hearing the gospel, then why in the world are we so gun-ho to go out as missionaries at all? In that case, aren't they better off not knowing? Right? So...what are we to do???

I don't know about you, but I am so sick of all the contradiction and difficulty in trying to understand such things in the bible. I have been a born-again believer for 28 years, since I was 12 years old, and it only keeps getting more and more frustrating, not less. Does this mean I am in danger of losing my salvation?
Or according to some, does this mean I never REALLY had it to begin with??

Ugh...I'm just so sick of it all.

NO DEBI. Feel better now? (LOL - a little laughter is a good thing).

You're RIGHT. What sort of God would create people knowing they were going to end up in hell? That would make "god" a lunatic and we KNOW from the order and enormous complexity of creation that God is NO lunatic. Hell was created for Satan and his legions, not for people. You don't "earn" your salvation, it's a gift; you LIVE it ("By their fruits you shall know them"). Can someone lose their salvation? Well, if a person who is a devoted Christian suddenly decides "oh heck with this" and takes a machine gun out into the mall and mows down 30 or 40 people....I'd say they're coming pretty, pretty close BUT God doesn't live by OUR rules. Who's to say that at the very last second of physical life, God doesn't give that person a CHANCE to call out to Him? I've read NDEs where that HAPPENED.

If you love God, if you try every day to live by His commandments (and what are they, they're fairly straightforward, especially those given to use by Jesus: love your neighbor as yourself, love God with your whole heart and soul) then you are living your faith, and failing (just as we all do, every one of us) and being forgiven, over and over again until you are face to Face and then I think God gently and lovingly helps you to see your lack AS WELL AS your SUCCESS.

About hearing the Gospel: this is a real conundrum I admit it. And since there are so many different Protestant denominations all with their own interpretations of Biblical statements, it gets a bit much. I've been held by the hand by God my entire lifetime (even though there were times I CHOSE to turn my back on Him -- He reels me back in every time.) I've given this a lot of thought and study. I think that anyone with a sincere love of God who tries to live in "holiness" (and I'm not including here men who fly planes into buildings in "god's" name) is honored by God. I doubt very much that they're sent to hell if they haven't ever heard the Gospel. Besides which, there's an entire OLD TESTAMENT also where God's truth can be found. This is my opinion, now, but it seems reasonable to me. It's what I WOULD DO if I were God and how much greater than I is GOD??? I'm a little mouse finding crumbs on the space station: I know where to look, I'm really good at finding crumbs, but don't ask me to DESIGN A SPACE STATION. We can't know God's "mind", we can only do the best we can and trust Him. My two cents :o)

I know where you are at, Tom. That issue that was part of a debate between Calvin and the other person who believed that God changes his plans if some predestined for "Hell" became saved was a debate that caused major division between the Christian believers and still to this day causes much confusion among believers. What I realised recently in a clearer perspective is that the Calvin vs whomever debate took place long after the scriptures had been completely written and became for us the Bible.
The Apostle Peter in one of the early chapters in the Book of Acts stated that he had to obey God if it came to a choice of obeying men or God. He stated this to those who were releasing Him from prison with the stern warning NOT to speak about the name of Jesus. Now that issue of one person out of a hundred being the number of people being saved is written NOWHERE in the Bible. So stay away from these people and their preaching on how many will get into Heaven. That ought never have been discussed or taught at a Biblical Bible study of any kind. In Galatians 1 about verse 5(?) it is written by the Apostle Paul that "he who preaches a Gosple differrent from ours (Paul's and his contemporary preachers of the Word of God) , even if he be an angel of the Lord consider him accursed......EVEN IF HE BE AN ANGEL OF THE LORD! So what he is saying is , consider those who teach how many out of how many will be saved, as accursed, because that is a teaching extremely alien to the teaching of God's Word even if it came from the mouth of an Angel of God. the apostle Paul was teaching all about Jesus, wwho was Crucified, died and rose again for our sins to be able to be forgiven by God the Father and enable us to have eternal joy with Him. Calvin and his debating opponent were not even around at that time. Predestination is a real Biblical issue that is taught. But not with the extremist teachings of those you were at Bible study with. The best advice is to act as if the debate had never taken place, Read the Bible which is the Final authority on all matters, irregardless as to the debate by Calvin and his opponent, and form your own opinions on such matters in light of what is written in the Bible. Calvin and the opponent are sinners like you and me. They are no differrent. Thus adhere to the teachings of God's Word and to trustworthy teachers of His Word. Those "Calvinists" are not deserving of your confidence. Go elsewhere....but not: just anywhere. So in resumé, without being versed enough to comment on predestination, I can still say that they are not teaching proper doctrine. There doctrine is not Biblical. And I would not want to be instructed by them. I'm so sorry for that horrible experience you had. But define them as accursed and go to where the BIBLE is preached which centers around what Paul preaches as mentionned above: In a word....Jesus Christ and you will be in the good place.