Adults with a parent that has Borderline Personality Disorder Community Group
Seeking to setup a group for adults that have a parent or both parents that have Borderline Personality Disorder. I would like this to be a safe place to exchange stories, ideas, and share knowledge surrounding the disorder, and discuss the effects upon you as the child.
I don't relate to others easily. I was the "bad child" to the woman I called my mother and just found out that she refused to love me and nurture me as an infant. It makes a lot of sense but I am struggling with the conflict of trying to understand why she consciously chose to destroy any foundation of love, trust, security that she was supposed to give me. She spent all her energy on my sister and resented my dad for trying to nurture me. She chose to withhold that vital connection I needed to understand how to trust and connect with others. I can't come to terms with this. I chose the company of those that fed my self-hatred and feelings of worthlessness for years and she enabled this.
I just joined this group today. I'm sorry to hear about your experience. You didn't deserve that.
I have gone through a lot of therapy and only in the last few years basically found out that my mother either definitely suffers from this condition or has huge tendencies. It's kind of a moot point really because it's effect on me and how I see myself has impacted my life and the center of how I intuitively see and treat myself. I am very familiar with letting people who treat me like crap in my life and have only, in later life, begun to be able to get away from this.
I'm hoping you had someone besides me reply to you here. You're definitely not alone. To this day, I still have feelings of guilt whenever I"m happy or feel good and independent. My mother is 80 and still alive so it's still a very strong struggle being her only child.
Anyway, hi. Thanks for sharing.