Adult Survivors of Emotional Incest. Community Group
I've created this group as a means of creating a healing dialogue for survivors of emotional incest. The parent child relationship is without a doubt, one of the strongest bonds we have. When this relationship is dysfunctional, the wounds can be deep and long lasting. I welcome all of you to this group. I hope that you will find it to be a helpful in your recovery.
As you are new to the group. I would love to hear what brought you here.
I have only recently discovered that I am a survivor of emotional incest. My family was very dysfunctional. My father (a good and decent man) was withdrawn most of the time. Growing up I had few male bonding experiences. My brother, was physically and emotionally abusive to me. At school, I was picked on constantly.
My mother was the de facto head of the household. She could be physically abusive at times and had an explosive temper. When my older brother reached puberty, he and my mother became bitter enemies. The level of animosity between them sometimes exploded into violent confrontations. My brother was kicked out of the house at least once. It was during this time, that the unhealthy relationship between myself and my mother developed. If I wore shorts she would make me show her my legs then she would comment on how great they looked. On more than one occasion, she commented"a lot of women would kill for legs like that". It made me so uncomfortable that I stopped wearing shorts altogether. As I grew older I became more of a surrogate daughter to her. I was never allowed to develop my own sense of identity. When I would dream out loud about someday moving out and getting my own place, My mother told me that I could not leave until I payed her for all the free room and board I received. I developed depression during my teen years in large measure due to the physical and emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of my brother. Over the years I've developed gender Identity issues. I don't see myself as a man. I like to dress in women's clothing. I've even started to try to grow breasts with phyto estrogen supplements. I know that I will never be the man I could have been. I will have to try to find a balance between my fem side and my underdeveloped male side.
I have only recently discovered that I am a survivor of emotional incest. My family was very dysfunctional. My father (a good and decent man) was withdrawn most of the time. Growing up I had few male bonding experiences. My brother, was physically and emotionally abusive to me. At school, I was picked on constantly.
My mother was the de facto head of the household. She could be physically abusive at times and had an explosive temper. When my older brother reached puberty, he and my mother became bitter enemies. The level of animosity between them sometimes exploded into violent confrontations. My brother was kicked out of the house at least once. It was during this time, that the unhealthy relationship between myself and my mother developed. If I wore shorts she would make me show her my legs then she would comment on how great they looked. On more than one occasion, she commented"a lot of women would kill for legs like that". It made me so uncomfortable that I stopped wearing shorts altogether. As I grew older I became more of a surrogate daughter to her. I was never allowed to develop my own sense of identity. When I would dream out loud about someday moving out and getting my own place, My mother told me that I could not leave until I payed her for all the free room and board I received. I developed depression during my teen years in large measure due to the physical and emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of my brother. Over the years I've developed gender Identity issues. I don't see myself as a man. I like to dress in women's clothing. I've even started to try to grow breasts with phyto estrogen supplements. I know that I will never be the man I could have been. I will have to try to find a balance between my fem side and my underdeveloped male side.
And also supported my abuser and rapist even though she never met him. Because we did not have a good relationship back then, she later explained.
I cannot go full No Contact, but I wish I could.